


Dopamine

by micha_alien



Category: Greta Van Fleet (Band)
Genre: College AU, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 11:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micha_alien/pseuds/micha_alien
Summary: Emily starts as a freshman at College, a boy 2 grades above her catches her attention, and vice versa.First smut in chapter 10.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some feedback if you can!
> 
> Follow my GVF fic blog on tumblr: sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com ♥

At the end of August, when the sun started to burn less harshly, when bakeries started selling pumpkin bread, Emily started her first semester at college. She’d just moved into her sister’s apartment near campus, replacing an old roommate who’d graduated. Sarah, two years older than Emily, was in her Junior year at the same college, studying music theory. The sisters had always been playing instruments, both mastered several different ones, and Sarah even had the singing voice to match. It was no surprise that they’d both end up studying a related subject at college.

Sarah had taken Emily to explore around the city, introduced her to some friends and taken her to the most popular hang-out spots for students. Emily was shy, had always been the odd one out at school, but next to her sister she felt less weird, less awkward, because Sarah was just the same. Quiet nature, pale skin, always dressed in all black, matching their naturally dark hair, refusing to listen to pop music, resting bitch-faces to match.

So far in her young life, these characteristics had only meant trouble for Emily, but she tried to be optimistic that college would be a little different. People were more mature here, not as shallow, and there wasn’t enough time to make fun of how someone chose to dress next to all the studying. At least she hoped that would be the case. She had every intention of making some friends and getting the proper college experience regardless of her preference in fashion and her attraction to sub-cultures.

“Are you going to the library tour later?”, Sarah asked as she zipped up her bass guitar case and stored it back in the hallway closet, which they’d designated for their instruments to save space. “I guess so… how do you know about it?”, Emily asked, doing the same with her guitar. “Oh, my friend is doing that for extra credits, but there should be two people there, I don’t know who the other one is. She’s the tall blonde. She’s funny, you’ll like her.”, she rambled, unplugged her amp and shoved it into the closet as well.

So, that Friday afternoon, Emily packed her backpack with a bottle of water, her headphones and a notebook before she made her way over to campus. She had to ask someone which building the library was in, and she was pointed to the largest one right in the center of the property. It was by far the oldest looking building around, red bricks and crumbling mortar, probably in need of some restauration, but the interior looked modern. The original front door had been replaced by an automatically opening sliding glass door and the walls were lined with industrial bookshelves, and there was lively chatter from somewhere, expensive looking computers here and there.

She was early, had to take a seat near the entrance to wait for the other students and their tour guides, and she watched students come and go with books under their arms. A few minutes later, the door slid open and a tall blonde walking next to a shorter guy entered the building, talking loudly and laughing at something. Emily assumed those were the tour guides based on Sarah’s description of her friend, but she wasn’t going to walk up to them and ask, she wanted to wait until everyone else had arrived too.

She watched the two students lean against the wall at the opposite end of the ground level room. The blonde girl was clothed entirely in denim, her hair a little messy, she looked like she’d had exhausting classes all day, possibly all week, but nonetheless she smiled and laughed at her friend’s jokes. He was a lot shorter than she was, but still taller than Emily; his hair was of a dark brown, short at the sides and a curly mess on top and he was wearing salmon pink shorts and a half-unbuttoned shirt, crossed arms and a dimpled smile.

Emily nervously chewed on the inside of her cheek as she waited, and finally there was a group gathering near the entrance, young faces looking around curiously, whispering to each other. She rose from her seat to join them, standing next to a short black girl with braids and a bright teal backpack. The two older students pushed themselves off the wall and came walking over, and the blonde girl clapped into her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Hi, y’all. Let’s get this over with, shall we?”, she said in a clear and powerful voice, and Emily guessed she had to be in Sarah’s singing class.

She showed the group around the entire building, every floor and every room, then she left, handing the authority over to her shorter friend, who cleared his throat and smiled brightly. _His parents must have a good dental plan_, Emily thought at the sight of his teeth, grinning to herself for a split second before returning her attention to the guide. “Hi, I’m Josh. I’ll show you the digital system we have in place here and how it works, how you find books, how to see if the book you’re looking for is available or if you’re out of luck! Follow me back downstairs, please.”

The journey down from the fifth floor to ground level felt longer than it had taken to climb up those stairs one floor by one. When they’d finally all gathered around Josh and one of the computers, Emily was all the way in the back and couldn’t see the screen, and she rolled her eyes. “If you’re familiar with, uhh, _the internet_, this is actually super easy”, Josh said, showing everyone who could see the screen how to look up a specific book and what all the symbols meant, and Emily tried to get to the front, finally pushing past a tall boy right in front of Josh. He glanced back at her as he was talking and pointing at the screen, and he repeated everything he’d shown another two times so it would stick, which Emily was grateful for.

When they were told they could leave, Emily left the building and took a deep breath of the crisp air. It was getting kinda late, almost six in the evening, and she rushed home, hungry and a bit tired. She was greeted by a loud meow behind the apartment door, and Arnold, her rescue cat, almost slipped out between her feet, but she managed to shut the door just in time. “Heyyy, kitty, you hungry? My little man?”, she cooed, dropping her backpack, slipping out of her shoes and walking over to the kitchen, rummaging through the pantry for a can of cat food.

With a fed and content cat in her lap and a plate of ravioli on the couch table in front of her, Emily zapped through the TV channels to find something worthwhile, landing on a reality show from the early 2000s. She crossed her legs and stretched them out on the table, trying to balance her plate on Arnold, and his calm soul let her have that comfort. “You’re a great table, Arnie”, Emily said in between bites, running her fingers through his soft brown fur, and he started purring.

Sarah came home late, carrying a six-pack of beer and storing it in the fridge, whistling to herself. “What are you watching?”, she asked before sitting down next to Emily, reaching over to pet Arnold in her sister’s lap. They watched two episodes of the silly reality show, not speaking much; Emily fed Sarah a few of her Ravioli, purposely getting sauce all over her sister’s face as she laughed.

“How was the tour? The library’s pretty impressive, huh?”, Sarah inquired, crossing her arms and letting her head fall back against the back rest of the couch. “Yeah, it was good. Your friend, is she a singer? Her voice-“ “Yeah, I know. She is. She’s a real siren, my gay ass always dies when it’s her turn in class.” Emily cackled, picturing the bright red face of her otherwise pale older sister, stammering and stuttering.

“Who else was there?”, Sarah asked, twirling a strand of her black hair around her finger. “Some guy named Josh”, Emily said, placing her empty plate on the table, trying not to move too much so the cat would stay curled up in her lap. “Oh, I know him. Short guy, curly hair? He’s in our singing class as well. He’s very loud. Every party he attends gets wild as shit, I swear to god.” Sarah laughed. “Really? He seemed pretty normal to me. I just didn’t get the shorts and the… open shirt”, Emily pondered and Sarah scoffed. “Yeah, the shorts, man. Get used to them. You’re gonna see those a lot.”

Emily had trouble falling asleep that first night in her new bed, even though Arnold was there with her. She couldn’t stop worrying about the workload that was about to be dropped on her the following week. She’d never been much of a hard worker when it came to homework and essays and such, but she hoped if the classes were all music related it would be easier for her. She’d always been passionate, had already worked out her schedule for the week, and it didn’t look like that much, but she’d heard from Sarah that work tended to pile up fast and if you didn’t put in enough effort, it would come back to haunt you.

The city was loud outside the windows, Sarah had warned her about the noisy weekends around campus. Turning on the lamp next to her bed, she got out of bed to look for her ear plugs on her desk, found them behind her closed laptop, which she opened and turned on. She checked her E-Mails and decided to play a few rounds of Solitaire until she was tired enough to go to sleep. Her ear plugs keeping out the noise of the night, she crawled back under the covers and Arnold moved up to the pillow, curling up next to her head, she felt him purring and fell asleep with her hand in his fur.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first interaction between Josh and Emily doesn't go as Emily would have liked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my GVF fic blog on tumblr: sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

The weekend went by very uneventful, Emily decided to get some rest before classes would start on Monday, staying in the apartment playing video games, eating instant noodles and listening to music all of Saturday and Sunday. Arnold kept her company, being his usual uncomplicated, cuddly self. Sarah on the other hand spent the entire weekend out with friends, coming home late when Emily had already gone to bed.

On Monday morning, Emily’s alarm went off for her early morning class; she groaned as she hit the snooze button. Going to bed in time didn’t make her any more of a morning person, and she delayed getting up by almost a half hour when she suddenly jumped up, hurriedly taking a quick shower and getting dressed in a pair of black leggings and a band shirt. She made herself a grilled cheese sandwich, let Arnold have a few shreds of the mozzarella on top of the cat food she scooped into his bowl, and took a few big gulps of orange juice from the bottle in the fridge. Her pair of black socks and the black Chelsea boots completed her look; she didn’t bother doing her make-up, just brushed her teeth and shouldered her book bag before she was out the door.

There were a lot of small groups of students on their way to class, Emily felt a little awkward being the only one walking alone, but when she arrived at the lecture hall where her _Harmonics _class was set to take place, there was only one other student waiting, sitting on a chair and flipping through a folder of sheet music. She was dressed in a colorful jacket and a pastel orange pair of leggings, bright green sneakers on her feet. Emily sat down next to her and glanced at her watch, ten minutes early.

“Hey”, the other student said, and Emily turned her head. “Hey”, she replied, trying to smile, swallowing nervously. The other girl seemed relaxed, smiling brightly. “I’m Lauren”, she said, holding her hand out for Emily to shake. Emily hesitantly took it, forcing herself to give a firm handshake to show confidence she didn’t possess. “Emily”, she said tonelessly, clearing her throat and repeating herself, feeling her face flush, but Lauren just smiled at her with an understanding expression. “Don’t be scared, you’ll get used to everything soon. I’ve done this course before, have to do it again because I failed last time.”, she grinned, and for the next fifteen minutes she kept up a casual back-and-forth conversation as one by one, all the other students arrived. A bit later, a tired looking middle-aged man carrying a suitcase arrived, nodded to everybody waiting outside, then unlocked the door and had them sit down inside.

Emily and Lauren sat next to each other front row, and Emily felt a little more at ease now that she knew at least one person in the room, who seemed nice enough. _Harmonics_ turned out to be fairly boring, too scientific for Emily’s taste, but she attentively took notes and tried to follow the PowerPoint presentation projected to the wall behind the professor. She didn’t blame Lauren for failing this class, was relieved to get some fresh air after it ended, walking outside alongside her new acquaintance. “Professor Bishop is alright, but this class is just such a pain in the ass”, Lauren lamented, taking a sip from her water bottle and leaning back against the wall outside the building, Emily next to her. “Do you think you’ll pass this time?”, Emily asked curiously, “maybe we could study together or something.” Lauren nodded with raised brows, shoving her water bottle back into her backpack. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Let’s exchange numbers then.”

-

“I’m going to a frat party tonight, I know it’s Monday and all, but these people don’t give a fuck and I don’t wanna miss it. Do you wanna come with me?”, Lauren asked, Emily didn’t know what to say, she was still overwhelmed by all the new things to take in. “Come on, it’ll be fun! You’ll meet some people.” “Aren’t they gonna judge me? For, you know”, she said, pointing down at her outfit, “this shit?” “Are you kidding me, girl? You look cute. Just put on a different shirt and some glittery eyeshadow and you’ll be fine, I promise. Besides, the people in the faculty of arts are all kinds of weirdos. You won’t stand out much.”, Lauren said with a squeeze of Emily’s shoulder, “I’ll just text you the time and place and we can meet out front then.”

Emily sat through two more long classes, didn’t find any friends there as she kept to herself, saving her social energy for the party, if she was even gonna end up going. She took in-depth notes but couldn’t stop herself from doodling around in her notebook too, and she checked her schedule to see that she wouldn’t have any practical music classes until Wednesday, rolling her eyes. When she left her last class for the day, she spotted a bulletin board near the exit and skimmed the leaflets pinned to it. There were several different genre bands looking for musicians proficient in different instruments, a jazz ensemble looking for a saxophonist, a musical theater group advertising auditions for roles in a play, but what caught her attention was an all-girl rock band looking for a bassist _and_ a rhythm guitarist, both instruments she was proficient in, and she decided to write down the number on the leaflet.

She called on her way home, the phone rang five times before someone picked up. “Hello?”, a sleepy female voice said on the other end of the line. “H-hey, I um, I saw your leaflet looking for a guitarist? Or bassist? Are you still looking?”, Emily asked, her heart beating fast out of pure nervousness. “Oh! Yes! We are. I’ll save your number and text you the details if you want?” “Yes! Please. Awesome, thank you!”

With a smile on her face, Emily made her way up the stairs to the apartment, Arnold already waiting for her by the door. She fed him, then grabbed a pre-packaged salad from the fridge, jumping up to sit on the counter to eat. A song was stuck in her head but she couldn’t name it, and she heard Sarah’s laundry machine roar in the bathroom. After finishing her salad, she sauntered into her bedroom and opened her closet, trying to find something else to wear to the party later, but almost her entire wardrobe consisted of black shirts, mostly with band logos on, but some with intricate lace patterns or see-through fabric with only the chest covered. Then she spotted her grey sweater in the back, it was knit from thick yarn, you could see through the holes if you squinted, and she paired it with a plain black bra, laying the outfit out on her bed.

She went to the bathroom to freshen up, doused herself in a sweet-smelling perfume her sister had left out, then washed her face and went back into her bedroom to do her make-up. She went with a simple thin line of black on her eyelids, some mascara and a rose-tinted lip balm. _No black lipstick this time_, she thought and grinned at herself in the mirror. She was kind of excited, but mostly anxious, and Lauren still hadn’t texted her where to meet her, which made her worry that she’d just been taken the piss out of, but at exactly seven in the evening her phone vibrated on her desk. Lauren had sent her the address and told her to get ready and meet her, so Emily went to put on her outfit, brushing her pitch-black hair quickly before she gathered her wallet, keys and phone to dump into her purse dangling from her shoulder, then left the house.

The frat house wasn’t far from the apartment, its porch illuminated and a few people standing outside, smoking, music blasting from inside, but not too loud, which was a relief. She walked up the stairs, nodded at the person closest to the front door, and entered the building. There were so many people that she felt dizzy for a second, looking around for Lauren, spotting her colorful windbreaker in the corner and making her way over.

“Heyy, you came!”, Lauren said, visibly excited, and Emily smiled, glancing at Lauren’s conversational partner, a tall guy smiling at her. Lauren introduced them, then patted the space on the couch next to her so Emily could sit down and get acclimated first. “Do you want a beer? Don’t tell anybody.” Lauren winked, but Emily shook her head no. “Maybe later, thanks”, she said, grateful that the music wasn’t loud enough to make it hard to understand each other. She took in the room she was sat in, some people in the corner had control over the playlist and were arguing about different artists, another group in the center of the room were playing beer pong on a solid wood table, and she felt a bit intimidated by the shouting and loud conversations all over the house.

People came and went, everyone with either a bottle of beer or a plastic cup of something else in their hand. After a while, Lauren excused herself and left Emily on her own in the corner, anxious and overwhelmed, but she was determined to get through it, maybe something fun would happen before the end of the night. She took out her phone and checked her social media, then her E-Mails, and after a few minutes of scrolling, someone sat down next to her and a fresh, masculine smell wafted over to her, so she turned her head. She was surprised to see the guy from the library tour, Josh, talking to someone to his other side, moving his hands enthusiastically along with his words.

They were talking about a movie that had just been released, he sounded excited and was smiling, showing his dimples, and Emily couldn’t help but admire his profile. Not to mention the smell coming from him, it left her only breathing in through her nose, her eyelids fluttering shut for a moment, and she caught herself leaning over to him a little bit when he turned his head to face her with a smile. “Oh, hey! I know you, you were at the, uh-“ “Library tour, yeah”, Emily nodded, feeling herself getting a bit lost in his deep brown eyes. “What’s your name?”, he asked, the guy sitting to his other side getting up and leaving, he paid him no mind. “Emily”, she replied, “and you’re Josh, right?” “Yes. Nice to meet you, Emily. You’re a freshman then?”, he inquired, taking a sip from his red plastic cup.

-

“I feel like I know you from somewhere else, do you have a sister at this college?” “Yes, her name’s Sarah. Sarah Taylor?”, Emily smiled, happy to talk about her sister, and Josh nodded. “Oh, yeah, I know her, very talented. I knew you two were related, you look so much like her! Are you twins?”, he asked, Emily shook her head. “No, I’m two years younger actually.” “I’m a twin”, Josh grinned, pointing to the opposite side of the room, at a boy the same height as him, with the same face, but longer and straighter hair, who was lighting a cigarette before stepping outside on the porch. “Oh my god, that’s so cool”, Emily said, and Josh smiled. “He’s a dick. But I love him. Do you and your sister get along?” “Yes, perfectly.”, Emily replied, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, Josh watching her.

-

“Do you want a beer? Or something else?”, Josh asked, but Emily was cut off when a short girl with long red hair came up to Josh, smiling brightly. “Hey, babe”, she said, and Emily swallowed harshly, her chest stinging for a second, then brushed it off, forcing herself to smile at the girl. “Hello, darling, you wanna go home?”, Josh asked, pulling the girl down into his lap, and Emily felt out of place next to them now, awkwardly folding her hands between her knees. “Please, baby. Who’s this?”, the redhead asked, smiling at Emily. “This is Emily. Emily, this is Aurora.” “Hi, Emily! Nice to meet you”, Aurora said sweetly, shaking Emily’s hand, the firmness of the last handshake Emily had given now completely absent.

Josh and Aurora left the party, holding hands and leaning into each other, and all Emily could do was watch them, staring at Josh’s ass in his shorts as he walked away. _Fuck, how stupid are you?,_ she scolded herself, rolling her eyes and deciding to get a drink after all. There was a fruity punch and she filled a plastic cup with it and finished it in one go before crushing the cup in her fist and throwing it into the bin next to the table with the drinks, tightened the grip on her purse and left.

The walk home was quiet, it was already dark, and Arnold was sleeping on Emily’s bed. The punch had been a bit strong, she stumbled to the bathroom before climbing underneath the covers. She turned on the string of fairy lights in her window, bathed in the warm glow of them, and buried her face in Arnold’s soft belly, his fur tickling her. She sighed deeply, giggled at a burp that escaped her, and Arnold’s purring lulled her to sleep soon after. Her dreams were confusing, choppy and surreal and she couldn’t remember a single detail when she woke up the next morning to the sound of her early alarm.


	3. Three

Emily didn’t see Josh over the next couple days, and her classes and the work she had to do for them kept her too busy to think about him anyway. But when she sat down in the library to do some course work in peace, she spotted him out of the corner of her eye, browsing through one of the shelves and piling an arm full of books in front of his chest. She focused her attention on the long wall of text stretched over nearly a hundred pages that she was supposed to read and summarize until the end of the week, but she couldn’t help but glance over to Josh from time to time. After highlighting a couple pages worth of important information, she looked over to the shelf where he’d just been standing; he was gone. She zipped open her backpack beside her seat and retrieved her bottle of water, taking a big gulp and setting it on the table in front of her.

“Hey, Emily”, she heard him say then, the pile of books dropping down on the table next to her stuff and his warm hand coming down on her shoulder, squeezing it before he sat down. “Oh, h-hey, Josh”, she said, saw him smiling and felt a sting in her chest. The dimples in his cheeks were making it hard for her to stay in reality, and when she spotted the slight gap between his front teeth, she had to forcibly keep herself from rolling her eyes back into her head. “How’s it going? Hard at work, I see”, Josh said, pointing at her notes, then folding his hands in his lap and looking at her attentively. “Yeah, I’m- ugh, this is a lot of words”, she sighed, showing him the stack of paper filled with the academic text she was supposed to work on.

He laughed a little, his hand coming down on her forearm, giving it a friendly squeeze, and Emily almost whined at the loss of the warm contact when he pulled back and in turn pointed at his collection of books on the table. “College is ninety percent reading, I feel like”, he said, grabbing the book on the very top of the pile, flipping it open and pulling a pen out of his shirt pocket and a notebook from his backpack and started working on his own, mostly quiet beside her, but from time to time she could hear him sigh, and chew on the end of his pen. His scent wasn’t as amplified as it had been at the party, but it was still lingering there, making Emily feel hazy; she couldn’t get enough of it.

They worked side by side for a good hour, Emily almost got used to him being there, but then he would say something, remark something to himself about the book he was skimming, in a quiet and low voice, and she’d shift in her seat, not entirely sure what was going on in her own head. She glanced at the clock mounted on the wall, it was almost time for her to walk over to her late class. She packed up, not in a hurry whatsoever, trying to linger in Josh’s presence for as long as she could, but then snapping out of it when she saw Aurora enter the room. She watched the redhead sneak up behind Josh, not making a noise, then laying her palms over his eyes from behind, making him jump.

“Woah, who could this be?”, he giggled, reaching up and taking Aurora’s hands into his, pulling her forward so she was leaning down against his back with her head on his shoulder. She was laughing, then smacked a noisy kiss to his cheek, and Emily had seen just about enough, zipping up her backpack and getting up from her seat. She turned and started walking slowly, a weird sadness overtaking her, and she scolded herself for it. _You don’t even know this guy,_ she thought, _maybe he’s a complete dickhead. _But she knew that wasn’t the case, her gut feeling told her he was every bit as cute and intelligent and funny as he seemed. _Shut up. _“Bye, Emily”, she heard him say, and he sounded a bit sad, but in the next moment he pulled Aurora in his lap and was laughing again. Emily didn’t reply, merely turned around and gave a quick wave, which she was sure he didn’t even see.

The short walk across campus sobered her up pretty quickly, getting a bit of reality back into her mind. She was early, as usual, and waited in a chair outside of the lecture hall, taking sips of her water and looking around nervously; she didn’t know anybody in this class, but somehow, they all seemed to know each other. The professor was a short lady with long blonde hair put up into a tight ponytail, high cheekbones and thin lips. Everyone sat down, Emily close to the door in the back with a tall girl to her right and an empty seat to her left. The professor was just about to start talking, when the door opened again and a long-haired guy with a bunch of books under his arm slipped in, mumbling a half-hearted excuse and planting his ass down right beside Emily. It was Josh’s twin brother, she recognized him from the party. _As if I needed that right now_, she thought, glancing over at him.

“What did I miss?”, he asked her under his breath, nervously flipping through a notebook for an empty page to take notes on, half of them filled with doodles. “Nothing”, Emily said, trying to be sympathetic, then he finally looked up at her for the first time, and she saw something flicker through his expression, like a pleasant surprise, and from that second on, he wouldn’t stop talking to her.

“I’m Jake”, he said, offering her his hand to shake, and she reluctantly did, raising her brows. _Weirdo_, she thought, but didn’t mean anything bad by it. She liked weirdos. “Emily”, she replied, “you’re Josh’s brother, right?” Jake smiled, nodding. “Yeah, we’re twins.” “I… I can see that.”, she said, leaning her face into her hand, elbow on the desk in front of her, looking over at him. They did look very similar, at least their faces did. Jake’s hair was much longer, straighter, and he dressed differently. Less eccentric, the black skinny jeans a stark contrast to Josh’s salmon colored shorts.

“So, um, are you a freshman then? I’m in this class for the third time. The professor hates me.”, he said quietly, neither of them focused on the PowerPoint-presentation in the front and the loud voice of the blonde professor. Emily grinned, biting down on her lip, nervously trying not to act stupid. “Yeah, I’m new.” “How do you know Josh?” “Oh, he led the library tour and then we were at the same frat party. I don’t really _know_ him; I just know you’re his brother because he pointed you out.”

It turned out that Jake was quite the flirt, just as handsy as Josh, touching Emily’s arm from time to time, asking her about her _situation_, which instruments she played, what she liked to do for fun. She replied to all of his questions, fired back with her own, caught in a flowing conversation with Jake, enjoying the touches, and most of all the intrigued and piercing look he gave her. She caught him glancing down at her lips a few times, and he shifted closer to her when she started listing all the bands she was into.

“Interesting”, he said, obviously genuine, stroking his hair back out of his face when he tilted his head. He then just looked at her for a minute and she felt herself grow hot and sweaty under her hoodie, not able to withstand his intense eyes. “What?”, she breathed, swallowing dryly, her eyes darting back and forth between him and the presentation in the front. “Nothing”, he began, leaning back in his seat but not averting his eyes, “just wondering if you’d like to have coffee with me some time. Or dinner. Whatever you like.” Emily laughed nervously, not sure what to say. She pulled her sleeves over her clammy hands, still not sure where to look, but then forced herself to look at Jake. “Um. Sure, why not?”, she finally replied, and she saw Jake was very happy she’d said yes, a bright smile on his face. “Lovely. Do you wanna give me your number? It’s cool if not.”, he said, another devastating blow to her spinning head.

They’d exchanged digits, walked outside after class, side by side, only parting when they reached the road, having to turn in different directions. “I’ll see you around, Emily.”, Jake said, his voice quite different to Josh’s, huskier. “See you”, she said, turning around and walking a few steps before looking back over her shoulder. There was something she needed to check before Jake would turn the corner. She smiled to herself, chuckling into her fist when she caught a glimpse of Jake’s ass.

Back in the apartment, she locked herself in the bathroom and took a long shower, thinking hard about what had been going through her head all day. She was now pretty sure that she had a crush on Josh, almost convinced herself that it was just a silly little thing, and that it would pass, but she knew herself. She knew that once she’d involuntarily picked a guy to fall in love with, there was no coming back from it except if she stopped seeing him around. She always fell hard for a particular type; pretty face, slightly taller than herself, kind of a weirdo, and wild hair. But there was no chance of her ever being with him, he had a girlfriend; a pretty cute one at that. His brother on the other hand was obviously interested in her, was just as handsome as Josh, but ultimately he wasn’t his twin, and she knew it wouldn’t last, but she decided to go ahead and take him up on his offer to take her out for dinner.

She still hadn’t heard back from the band she intended to audition for and decided it was better not to annoy them about it. Maybe they’d come around, but she had enough on her plate already without having to go to band practice twice a week. She pulled her bass guitar out of the instrument closet and sat on the couch, not bothering to connect it to an amp, just going through some songs she liked to play before stashing it away again, feeding the cat and eating two bowls of cereal for dinner, then going to bed. Arnold was especially talkative that night, gently meowing away beside her head on the pillow as she read a few pages of her book. “I know, kitty, _meow_” she said before closing her book and putting it down on her bedside table, turning off the light and giving him a head scratch. He fell quiet then, just purring and curling up in her touch, and soon enough Emily fell asleep.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily spirals deeper into a dilemma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Jake texted Emily in the afternoon two days later, asking if her schedule left time that evening to meet him at a pizza place for dinner, the fanciest that college students could afford. She was cleaning the kitchen when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She opened the text, read it, and the nervousness crept back into her body. She finished cleaning before she replied, agreeing to the short notice he’d given her, and decided to take a quick shower and do her make-up like she usually did for a night out, but nothing fancy and nothing too dark. She dressed in a pair of black jeans and a sweater, a pair of warm winter boots, it was getting cold, and threw on her crimson coat.

Sarah came home then, humming to herself. “Hey, girlie, what’s going on, what are you dressed up for?”, she asked, passing by and dropping her keys on the couch table. “I-uh. I have a date”, Emily admitted, face growing red. “You what? Already? With who?”, she asked, her voice rising a pitch. “I don’t know if you know him, Josh’s twin brother, Jake”, Emily said, already pretty sure that Sarah did in fact know him. “Of course I know him, dingus. He’s… He-okay. Just promise me you won’t get attached too quickly.” “What? Why?”, Emily panicked, sitting down on the couch with Sarah. “I-ugh. Okay, let’s just say he’s got quite the reputation, okay? With girls here. Nothing bad, don’t worry. I only hear good things. But the volume in which I hear ‘em? Is concerning. It’s a lot of voices, alright?” “Are you saying he’s a hoe?”, Emily laughed hysterically, not the least bit bothered. Sarah didn’t laugh with her, she just gave Emily a lopsided smile, getting off the couch. “I’m just telling you what I know.” With that, she disappeared into her room, leaving Emily stunned and amused.

Emily rose from the couch, a last glance at herself in the mirror, then she left the house, Arnold meowing after her. Her phone’s navigation app led her into the prettiest part of town, old and kinda romantic, and when she looked up from her phone and saw the small Italian restaurant on the corner, she spotted Jake smoking a cigarette out front, waving at her when he saw her walking up to him. “Hey, so glad you could make it! You look great”, he said, pulling Emily into a short but sweet hug. “Hey, you too”, she said, which was the truth. He was dressed casually as well, but his coat, much like hers, rounded up his outfit perfectly, making him look dashing in the low light. He’d brushed his hair, that much was obvious, and he smelled really nice. Not as nice as Josh, but close. “You hungry?”, he asked as he crushed his cigarette with his shoe on the ground. “Yes, I could eat”, Emily smiled, and let Jake hold the door open for her. They picked a table by the window in the corner, quiet and already candle-lit.

“This is so cheesy, I’m sorry. It was just the fanciest thing I could find that wouldn’t break the bank. We can go somewhere else next time.”, he said, Emily spotted his nervously knotted brow and giggled. “Jake, it’s fine. It’s perfect. I love pizza.” He relaxed, sitting down across from her. “Good to know you’re already sure there will be a next time”, Emily said, grinning at Jake and shuffling out of her coat, shrugging it behind herself so it hung over the back rest of the comfortable chair. “Yeah, you know… you seem pretty rad to me, so…”, Jake mumbled and took his coat off as well, revealing a silky looking black button-up shirt with the two top buttons undone. A waitress greeted them and handed them the menu, and they both ordered shortly after.

Jake was funny, Emily almost choked on a bite of pizza laughing at one of his jokes, he profusely apologized, got out of his seat to pat her back, and Emily couldn’t deny that his unfathomably warm hands on her back didn’t do anything for her. Jake paid the bill and at the end of the night, Emily felt safe enough with him to let him walk her home, and when he laid an arm around her waist, she blushed and smiled at him, thinking, even if just for a moment, that maybe it could work out with him, if she couldn’t have Josh. She hated herself for thinking that way, ranking the two brothers this way, prioritizing a silly crush she had on one of them to a legitimate, genuinely fun date she’d had with the other.

“This is me”, she said when they’d arrived in front of the steps to her apartment building, turning to face Jake and anticipating a warm hug, but Jake was prepared to give more. He lifted his hand to stroke her cheek and pulled her into a kiss, catching her by surprise. She needed a moment to adjust to what was happening, then decided to kiss him back, placing her hands on his biceps, holding onto them tightly as their mouths moved together, and she sighed against his lips.

She pulled back first, wide-eyed, looking at him with a smile, lips swollen and face flushed. “I had a really good time, Jake”, she said, smoothing her hand down the front of his coat, the other falling down to grab his hand. “Me too”, he said, his free hand brushing her hair back behind her ear. “But I’m gonna go to sleep. We’ll see each other tomorrow?”, she said, watching the smile on Jake’s face get wider. “You do wanna see me again?”, he asked. “Yes, I’d like that.”, she said. He looked like he was contemplating something for a moment, and he cleared his throat before he spoke. “Go to this frat party with me tomorrow, same location as the last one, if you want.” Emily thought about the proposition for a moment, mentally checking her calendar, then deciding that she’d hate herself if she passed up on an opportunity to drink more of that sweet punch she’d had last time, so she nodded. “Okay.”

Back upstairs in the apartment, she dropped down on the couch, sighed, and Sarah joined her, carrying two mugs of tea. “Sooo? How did it go?”, she asked, and Emily laughed, couldn’t stop smiling even though the mess of feelings in her head and her heart screamed for her to take a step back and reevaluate her choices. “So good. He’s lovely. He doesn’t seem like a hoe to me, Sarah.”, she said, gratefully taking the tea, Arnold jumping up between the sisters and curling up into a fuzzy brown ball, purring away happily. “Did you feed him?”, Emily asked, Sarah nodded as she took a sip of her own tea. “So, what did you guys do?” “We went to a real Italian restaurant for pizza.”, Emily said, took a deep breath, then continued, “And he kissed me.” Sarah almost spat out her tea, struggling to gulp it down so the gasp that desperately needed to come out of her could escape.

-

The next day came harsh and early, forcing Emily to get out of bed while it was still dark out, shivering when she climbed into the shower, but the water and lemon scented soap woke up her tired limbs and breathed some life into her body. She made herself some French toast for breakfast, leaving some in the pan for Sarah, who would have to get out of bed soon as well. Arnold begged to be fed, jumping up on the kitchen counter and meowing at Emily. “I eat first, remember?”, she said, giving him a quick head scratch before she sat down at the table to eat.

She left the house dressed in a pair of comfortable jeans made from a stretchy material and a fuzzy sweater she borrowed from Sarah, needing to be warm when she was up this early. Her hair in a messy bun, her feet in two pairs of socks and her boots, she arrived at her early morning class fifteen minutes early, and Lauren was already waiting outside the lecture hall. “Hey, Emily, what’s up?”, she smiled brightly, her colorful outfit a welcome distraction from the gloomy weather outside. Emily hoped there would be some more brighter days or weeks before fall officially began, but right now it looked like the end of the world was near.

“Not much, what about you?”, she replied, sitting down in the chair next to her new friend. “Well, that’s not what I heard”, Lauren said, grinning at Emily, who gave her a surprised look before she remembered that everyone she’d met already knew each other. “You talked to Jake?”, Emily asked quietly, blushing, not sure if she wanted to talk to Lauren about her love life already, having met her merely a week before. “Yeah. He seemed too giddy this morning, it bugged me. I asked him and he said he’d been on a date last night. I asked him with whom and he said _with Emily_.” “Okay, okay. Yeah, we did go out for dinner last night. And he kissed me.” “I know”, Lauren grinned, making Emily roll her eyes.

“He said you seemed excited to see him again, but right now you sound like you can’t wait for him to leave you alone, why is that?” Lauren asked and Emily pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes against the fluorescent lights in the hallway. “Well, for one, it’s early. And also, I’m kind of in a dilemma. Promise me you won’t tell him about it?”, she begged, looking at Lauren, watching her chew on a piece of gum with a surprised look on her face which changed into a genuinely sympathetic smile. “I promise”, she said, grabbing Emily’s forearm and squeezing it tight. Emily’s natural distrust for people was dependent on her gut feeling about them, and in this moment, her gut feeling told her Lauren would be able to keep a secret.

“I, uh… I kind of have a crush on his brother. Josh.”, she admitted quietly, Lauren’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”, she said, loosening her grip on Emily’s arm and folding her hands in her lap. “Yeah.”, Emily said, gritting her teeth and nervously shifting in her seat. “And dating Josh is out of the question, because… because of Aurora?”, Lauren guessed, and Emily nodded. “Yeah. Of course. I don’t wanna interfere with that.”, she said, chewing on the inside of her cheek, feeling herself relax, relieved that she’d finally spilled her guts to someone. “Fuck, I’m sorry. That sucks. And you don’t think dating Jake would complicate things?”, Lauren said, lifting her hand and calmingly rubbing Emily’s shoulder. Emily scoffed.

“Of course it will. I don’t think anything serious could happen between Jake and I. He’s sweet, he’s a really good kisser, he’s pretty and all, but he’s… he’s not Josh. You know?”, Emily rambled, tensing up again, fearing she might have revealed too much about herself, but Lauren was still intently listening, a calming presence next to her. “You know, for what it’s worth, Josh and Aurora aren’t that perfect of a pair, and I personally think it’s gonna fall apart sooner rather than later. It’s kinda morbid to hope for that, but I like you much better than her and Josh really doesn’t deserve even one more of her fuck-ups.”, Lauren said, making Emily raise her brows at her. “I’m not gonna talk shit about anyone. I don’t wanna be involved in drama. Not here for that.”, Emily said, brushing her hair back out of her face. “No, of course not. Maybe you should just see what happens with Jake for now.”

After class, Lauren walked Emily to her next one on the schedule, having some free time now herself that she wanted to spend studying in the library. The sun had risen in the meantime, casting shadows over the campus, revealing more thick clouds in the sky threatening to spill over. “I think you should go to that frat party with Jake tonight. Could be fun, right?”, she suggested, and Emily nodded. “Yeah. I think I will. Are you gonna be there too?”, she asked, dropping her backpack to the ground by the door. “You bet I will be!”, Lauren said before she excused herself and walked off with a last squeeze of Emily’s shoulder.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Emily was surprised to find Sarah napping on the couch when she came home, used to her sister being out all day for as long as she could. She tried to be quiet making dinner in the kitchen, but accidentally dropped the lid of a pot to the floor, jumping and squealing, and minutes later Sarah stood in the doorway, wrapped in a blanket, sleepy eyes trying to adjust to the bright light. “Sorry”, Emily said, stirring the boiling pasta and tossing the empty jar of sauce into the bin. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t be sleeping at this time anyway. Are you making enough for both of us?”, Sarah asked, pointing at the stove with her hand peeking out under the blanket. “Yeah, come sit down with me.”

“Are you going to that party tonight? I thought about going but I’m supposed to study”, Sarah said, helping herself to more sauce than necessary and grating some parmesan onto the mess on her plate. “Yeah, Jake asked me to go with him.”, Emily replied, taking a sip of water, Arnold in her lap peeking onto her plate. “Oooh, another date then?”, Sarah grinned. “Maybe?”, Emily said, rolling her eyes, “I don’t know why I’m doing it. I’m not that into him.” “Excuse me?”, Sarah dropped her spoon on her plate, the loud clinking noise frightening Arnold, making him jump off Emily’s lap and hurry out of the kitchen. “Hey! You scared him!”

“Sorry, but what the fuck? What did you just say? Do you know how many girls are gonna be jealous when they see you with him? Jesus. You’re such an emotional dumbass”, Sarah ranted, sounding kind of angry; she knew Emily well, and she knew how self-sabotaging she was when she dated, always getting hung up on silly things that didn’t matter. “Woah, woah, I haven’t even told you the reason, cut me some slack!”, Emily defended herself, leaning forward on the table, furrowing her brows. “Well then tell me!”, Sarah demanded, crossing her arms, her big sister attitude coming out at full volume. “I like someone else.”, Emily admitted quietly, poking her fork around in her spaghetti.

Sarah’s expression softened and she realized Emily’s usual pickiness and self-sabotaging behavior didn’t apply in this situation. “Oh.”, Sarah began, “Who is it?” Emily took a deep breath, sighed with exasperation, laid down her fork and leaned back in her chair. “Jake’s brother.”, she said, the silence weighing heavy on her the next few seconds before Sarah said anything.

“Josh?” “Yes.” “Fuck.” “Exactly.”

The sisters finished eating quietly, exchanging looks over the table, having an entire non-verbal conversation. When they washed the dishes together, Sarah cleared her throat and lifted her hand to rub Emily’s back. “What are you gonna do about this?”, she asked, her calming, soft tone of voice bringing Emily to tears. Emily sobbed, turned around to Sarah and buried her face in her sister’s hair by her shoulder, crying as Sarah pulled her into a warm hug and pat her back. “I d-don’t know”, Emily said, muffled against Sarah’s sweater, “I know it’s n-not cool of m-me to date Jake, I-I don’t wanna make him s-sad” Her sobs cut through the silence for a while and she stayed in Sarah’s embrace until she’d calmed down somewhat.

They sat down on the couch, Sarah made tea and Emily pulled her knees up to her chin and buried her fingers in Arnold’s soft fur. “I think you should tell Jake what you’re feeling before it’s too late, and you should tell him you like Josh.”, Sarah said, blowing on her tea to cool it down. “Are you nuts?”, Emily scoffed, shaking her head at Sarah’s seemingly silly suggestion, “He’s gonna tell Josh and then they’re gonna be mad or make fun of me.” “No, they won’t. I’ve known them for long enough to know they wouldn’t. And if you ask Jake to keep the secret, he will. Besides, better tell him now than like three months into the relationship when he’s legitimately in love with you, you would hurt him so much.”, Sarah said, almost convincing Emily that telling Jake about her crush on Josh was the way to go, but she couldn’t help but fear the potential consequences.

With a lump in her throat and the nervousness taking over her body, Emily left the house and walked to the party on her own, supposed to meet Jake out front. She saw him smoking on the porch, talking to Lauren, and they both smiled at her when she made her way up the steps, joining them. “Hey”, she said, Jake pulling her into a short hug, Lauren doing the same after him. Emily felt like the floor was about to open up and swallow her whole, Jake looked fantastic and she didn’t understand herself in the slightest. Why couldn’t she just be grateful for what he was able to give her? What would it take for her to lose her crush on Josh so she could enjoy herself with this long-haired, hot-blooded version of him?

Jake walked her inside after he’d finished his smoke, leading her to a make-shift bar in the back of the house that Emily hadn’t seen the last time around. An obviously intoxicated guy behind the bar was putting on a comedic act as he served people their drinks, shouting puns and burping a lot. “Gross”, Emily laughed as she sat down on a stool beside Jake, way too close to him, their knees and arms touching. She looked around the room, nobody she knew was around. She ordered a Salty Dog and Jake got a Screwdriver, raising his brows in surprise when Emily downed her drink in one big gulp, trying to keep up with her from then on. They ordered shots of Tequila and Whiskey, both still under the legal drinking age but couldn’t care less.

Emily loosened up after the second round of shots, her anxiety leaving her rapidly when Jake started talking about his plans to be in a band. After another short while, four shots in, Jake turned to face her and she did the same, his knees between hers and his hands coming down on her thighs. She leaned on the bar with her elbow and her face in her hand, smiling at Jake, until she saw Josh and Aurora walking into the room, passing them and taking seats in the corner. She tried to subtly watch what they were doing while still keeping her attention on Jake, getting flustered when he moved in even closer. Her heart stung when she saw Josh kissing Aurora hard on the mouth, pulling her into his lap, and to try and overpower her heartache with a stronger and better emotion, she leaned in to kiss Jake.

Jake’s tongue tasted like smoke and liquor, his kiss was eager and warm, pulled her in for the time being. She bit down on his bottom lip and he groaned into the kiss, deepening it, his hands in her hair and her hands on his shoulders. The student behind the bar cheered, pointing at them first, then to Josh and Aurora in the corner. “Can you believe this? The twins are unstoppable!”, he yodeled drunkenly, spilling some of his beer onto the bar. Emily pulled back to look around, saw Josh in the corner looking over to them, his expression dropping instantly when he spotted Emily with his brother. He tried to hide it, but Emily had seen what she’d needed to see.

Jake was needy and intoxicated, pulling her into another kiss, and she leaned into it, forgetting that she was supposed to tell him the truth about her feelings. Emily was too tipsy and touch-starved to mind who it was she was making out with in this moment, but the image of Josh looking hurt when he saw her with Jake stayed on her mind for the rest of the night. She asked Jake to dance with her at some point, stumbling and holding onto him, laughing when they awkwardly tried to stay in tune with the beat of the music playing. Jake’s warm hands on her started exploring, moving down to cup and squeeze her ass, and when Emily saw Lauren watching in the corner with a weird look on her face, she stubbornly decided to lead him outside.

The cold, fresh air hit her hard and made her feel even more dizzy, and she sat down on Jake’s lap when he lowered himself on the stairs, lighting a cigarette. His arm around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder, she was glad she’d come to the party with him. He was fun to be around, a good kisser, and made her feel good about herself just with the looks he gave her and his hands on her body. Jake smoked up, motioned for Emily to try and get on her feet, helping her steady herself as he walked her down the stairs. “Let’s bounce. My place?”, he said, fumbling for his phone to call a cab. Emily just leaned against him, nodding, giggling and forgetting more of what she should be doing.

Jake helped her into the back of the cab, getting in on the other side, and he had a hiccup, needing two attempts to tell the driver his address. Emily sank down in her seat, sighing deeply, the heated vehicle lulling her to sleep for a second. Jake scooped her up and pulled her out of her seat when he’d paid, walking her up the stairs to his apartment door with his arm tightly around her. He stumbled a little himself, needed to grasp the railing to hold both of them up, and Emily dropped on his mattress when he’d led her to his room. Jake took off her shoes, then his own, and crawled up next to her, kissing her neck. “Mmmfff”, Emily said, then yawned, and fell asleep. Jake followed suit, drooling on her shirt and snoring.

They slept until the early afternoon, through their early classes, and only woke to shouting from somewhere else in the apartment. Emily groaned at her headache, the noise and the bright light falling into her face from the window making it worse. Jake was draped around her without a blanket and she shivered, even though she found herself to still be in her clothes. _Thank god,_ she thought, rolling out of bed and leaving Jake’s bedroom to go look for a toilet to relieve herself in. Instead, she found Josh and Aurora in the hallway, yelling at each other. She saw Aurora glaring at him, crossing her arms and spitting horrible profanities at him while he looked rather overwhelmed and lost, just trying to calm her down but failing miserably. Emily stumbled backwards, finding a door and sighing with relief when she saw it was the bathroom.

When she’d washed away last night’s smudged make-up and sweat by the sink, the yelling had died down and a door had been slammed shut. She went into Jake’s bedroom to get her shoes, then walked into the hallway to slip into them and sneak out. “Hey”, she heard Josh say behind her, turning around and seeing him stand there with red eyes, holding a mug out for her, “coffee.” She looked at him, puzzled, curious, and took the mug from him, following him into the small kitchen. “You okay? I heard-“ “I’m fine. You and Jake, uh, you got here safely?”, he asked, sipping on his own steaming cup of coffee. “Yeah, we… we fell asleep like immediately”, she laughed awkwardly; Josh smiled, but it seemed forced. The sound of a door opening and closing in the hallway made him get up and check on Jake.

They both joined Emily in the kitchen a moment later, Josh filling another mug with coffee, watching Jake sit down next to her. He looked at Josh curiously, eyebrows knotted together, taking the coffee from him with a nod. “What happened?”, he asked his twin, and Josh sighed, running his hand through his short curls and shaking his head. “I broke up with her.”, he said, and Emily almost spat out the hot liquid in her mouth. “Fucking finally”, Jake said, leaning back in his chair and glancing over at Emily. “Shut up. Asshole.”, Josh said, voice cracking slightly, and he stood up from his own seat and left the room. Emily cringed, the energy in the kitchen was vile and awkward. “I’m gonna go”, she said, finishing her coffee shortly after and getting up to walk out the door and never come back.

“Okay, see you around?”, Jake said, walking after her, not getting an answer before the front door fell shut and Emily was gone. She felt terrible, both physically and emotionally, drained, guilty and hurt by her own actions. She knew she shouldn’t have ended up in Jake’s bed, naked or not, knew she should have talked to him about her true feelings, like Sarah had told her to. But now it was too late, the damage was done, and the twins would both hate her if she opened up now, after the party, right after Josh had broken up with a furious Aurora for whatever reason. The walk home was long, but she didn’t have any money on her to call a cab, so she just took it as punishment for her behavior to be forced to get absolutely soaked by rain while she suffered a terrible hang-over.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Emily didn’t attend any of her classes for the rest of the day, just buried herself under her blanket after taking an Aspirin. Her clothes were drenched from the rain and she’d stuffed them into the laundry basket immediately after coming home. She slept through several texts coming in on her phone, but woke up when she received a call and the loud tone made her groan. She glanced at the display, saw Jake’s name flash up on it, and declined the call, sending it to mailbox. Jake tried another time, but she’d turned the phone off then and ran herself a bath, using one of Sarah’s expensive bath bombs.

Sarah was waiting for Emily in the living room, holding her own phone and looking confused. “Emily?”, she said, getting her younger sister’s attention with her agitated tone of voice. “Yeah?”, Emily said, walking closer to the couch where Sarah was sitting. “I got a call from Jake saying you left without saying a word and have been ignoring his messages and calls, and he’s wondering if you’re okay or if he did something wrong. Care to explain?”, Sarah asked, patting the couch beside her, and Emily reluctantly sat down with a deep sigh, close to tears again.

“I’m such a horrible person”, she began, her voice cracking at the end, “I’ve totally been leading him on when I should have told him I’m not interested the first time we talked.” “What did you do?”, Sarah asked, her voice now calmer, her hand reaching out to take Emily’s. “I made out with him at the party, I got really drunk with him, and I spent the night at his place. We didn’t do anything more than kissing, but… I just… I really shouldn’t have done any of it, but I did, and I don’t know how to fix it”, Emily sobbed then, big tears rolling down her cheeks, the hangover she was suffering from not really doing much to stabilize her mood.

Sarah stayed quiet, just holding Emily’s hand and letting her release her emotions for a while. “And then Josh broke up with Aurora, for whatever reason, and my first thought was _fuck yes_. God. I hate myself”, she sniffled, wiping her tears on her sleeve. Sarah pulled back her hand and fished a hair tie out of her pocket, putting her hair up into a messy bun.

“Well, it’s pretty obvious what you have to do to fix it.”, she said, grabbing one of the thin blankets behind her and wrapping herself up in it. “Is it?”, Emily asked, her own hopelessness taking over her entire thought process, as always, in desperate need of third-party input. “Yes. You have to talk to him about it. Tell him the truth. It’s not fair to ignore his messages, and it’s certainly not fair to keep this going.”, Sarah said, only reiterating what she’d been saying all along, not quite understanding why Emily wouldn’t listen.

“You’re right. I know you are. But I don’t know if I can do it”, Emily said, and Sarah’s expression changed from worried to angry. “Emily!”, she yelled, exasperated at her sister’s stubborn avoidance of conflict, even if it was necessary. “You better fucking call him now and tell him to meet you, and then you’ll fucking talk to him, or I swear to god, I will beat you up in front of him, if I have to!” Emily hated when Sarah yelled, but she had to admit that she was right, and she went into her room to get her phone, sitting back down on the couch with it, Sarah looked at her with an unreadable expression.

Emily dialed Jake’s number, took a deep breath, then started the call. He picked up almost immediately. “Emily?” “Yeah. We have to talk. Can you come over?”, Emily said, her voice cracking again and she bit down on her tongue to keep herself from sobbing. “Sure… give me a half hour, I’ll be there.”, he said, hanging up then. Another tear rolled down Emily’s face, Sarah sighed and got off the couch, walking into her bedroom to change. “I’m gonna go out for a few hours. Let me know how it went. Are you gonna be okay alone?”, she asked, squeezing Emily’s shoulder from behind the couch. “Yeah. It’s not the first time I’ve shattered a boy’s heart into a million pieces.”, Emily said, immediately breaking out into sobs again.

Sarah ended up staying until Jake rang the doorbell, and she buzzed him in as she left the apartment. Jake came in through the open door, closed it behind himself, kicked off his shoes, spotted Emily on the couch and joined her. “Hey”, he said, had kind of a sympathetic look on his face, eyebrows knotted together. “Hey”, Emily said, her knees pulled up to her chest. Arnold came in then, jumping up on the couch between the two of them, rolling up into a ball as if Jake didn’t exist. “Who’s this?”, Jake asked, reaching out to pet the soft brown cat, who began to purr and lean into his touch. “That’s Arnold. He likes you”, Emily said with a weak smile, watching Jake softly drag his fingers through Arnold’s fur.

“What did you wanna talk about?”, he asked, his warm brown eyes making her heart sting. She wasn’t sure if she could do this now, but she forced herself with all her willpower. He deserved to hear the truth before he’d properly fall for her, before it was too late. “Jake, I… I don’t think we work out. Like, I’m so fucking sorry that I led you on and all… I just-“ “Woah, woah, what do you mean you led me on?”, he asked, shocked expression plastered on his face. “Well, I made out with you last night, didn’t I?”, Emily said. “Yeah, but… we were drunk, and you didn’t promise me anything. We went on one date. Nothing more. What a shithead would I be if I didn’t let you pull the brakes after just one date and one drunk make-out session?”, he said, grinning in his confusion, trying to understand Emily’s reasoning.

Emily was stunned, her eyes wide, and she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Jake kept looking back at her, trying to read her puzzled face, grabbing her forearm and squeezing it to encourage her to finish her point. “I don’t know… what I expected, I… I guess I just thought you would be mad, or sad, or anything. I didn’t wanna hurt you.” “Well, I’m not gonna lie, I am a little sad that you feel this way, but if that’s how you feel then I’ll have to accept that and move on, don’t I?”, he said, and then she started crying again, this time out of pure relief, and she was grateful that Jake understood her like this, for a moment thinking that she’d made a mistake breaking it off with him. But she knew it was the right thing to do.

“Is there anything I did that made you feel this way, or is it just that you don’t like me in that way?”, Jake continued, trying to clear the air once and for all. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re great, Jake, I just… I like someone else.”, Emily confessed, her heart beating fast, threatening to jump out of her ribcage and smack Jake in the face. “Oh.”, he said, pulling back his hand to bury it in Arnold’s fur once again. They stayed quiet for a while, the ticking of the clock on the wall the only sound in the room. “Do I know them?”, Jake asked then, feeling a desperate need to know who it was that Emily had her heart set on. “You would hate me if I told you who he is.”, Emily said, feeling herself get red like a tomato, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “Another boy then. In your year?”, he guessed, shrugging his shoulders.

“No. Your year.”, Emily replied, feeling like she’d have to tell him now or never, but she wanted him to keep guessing, needed him to figure it out himself. “My year… uhhhm… someone I know?”, he continued. “Yes. You know him.”, she said matter-of-factly. “So, uhm. Wait. Are you talking about… Emily, are you talking about Josh?”, he asked, and Emily’s eyes once again spilled over with tears as she nodded, then buried her face against her knees. Jake remained silent as Emily shook with her sobs. When she’d calmed down and dared to look at him again, he cleared his throat, his expression unreadable. “Emily, there’s really no need for you to cry about this.”, he said, reaching out to smooth her hair behind her ears.

Emily looked at him with wide eyes, expectantly waiting for him to say more. “You know, I really like you, Emily. And if you don’t mind, I would like to see you again, but as friends. I wanna stay friends, as much of a cliché that is. And even if you and Josh were to, you know… get together? I’d still wanna be your friend. Because I think you’re rad and I’d hate to miss out on being friends with such a cool person.”, he rambled, absolutely blowing Emily’s anxious mind and sweeping all her worries away once and for all. Emily nodded, managing a smile that took over her entire face. “I’d love to be friends”, she said, grabbing Jake’s hands and keeping them in a firm grip, his thumb caressing her skin, and they smiled at each other.

“So, what are we gonna do about the Josh situation?”, Jake asked, but Emily shook her head. “I’m not gonna ask you to talk to me about him, that wouldn’t be fair.”, she said. Jake chuckled quietly, seeming like he knew something Emily didn’t. “What?” “Nothing. I could talk to him, you know”, Jake said, “for you. Ask him if he wants to take you out some time.” “Absolutely not!”, Emily shrieked, pulling her hands back and throwing them into the air dramatically. Jake laughed, a mischievous guffaw. “Why not?”, he asked, leaning against the back rest of the comfortable couch. “Because he literally_ just_ broke up with Aurora!”, she said, dramatically waving her hands around again, couldn’t believe what Jake was suggesting. “Oh, she had that comin’”, he grinned, pulling his own knees up to his chin now, making both of them look like two girls gossiping on a sleepover.

“Tell me about that. Lauren already mentioned her being shitty to Josh. I didn’t wanna hear about it then, but if you really don’t mind talking about this, then… I’d like to know what she did.”, she said, blushing, feeling like crap for asking, but she _needed_ to know. “Wouldn’t you rather hear this from Josh himself?”, Jake said, still smiling. Emily thought about it for a moment, and she had to agree with him. It was kinda shitty to talk about this behind Josh’s back, and she’d have a chance to ask him in the future, even if just as a friend. “You’re right.”, she said, concluding the topic. “And you’re sure you don’t want me to talk to him for you?”, he offered once again, but Emily couldn’t bring herself to exploit him in this way, so she nodded. “I’m sure.”

They talked for a while longer, Emily made tea and they watched an episode of a comedy show on TV before Jake headed home. Emily hugged him tight and thanked him profusely for his understanding and being so lovely, Jake shrugged it off, kissed her cheek and left her at the top of the stairs, humming to himself. Emily peeked out the window, watching him swing his leg over his bike, presumably, and ride off down the road.

Sarah came home late, but Emily was still awake, watching TV and stuffing her face with about four packs worth of microwaved popcorn. “Hey, girlie, why are you still up?”, Sarah asked, sinking down into the couch cushions next to her with a relieved sigh. “Can’t sleep”, Emily said, throwing a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it with her mouth. “How did it go with Jake? Did he get it?”, she asked, and Emily nodded. “As you said, he understood. And he wants to stay friends. And I told him I like his twin brother. And he offered to talk to him and get him to date me. - I said no.”, Emily rambled absentmindedly, aware of how ridiculous it sounded. “Pffff”, Sarah laughed, reaching for the gigantic bowl of popcorn in Emily’s lap and getting a handful for herself. “Yeah.”, Emily said.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

When Emily had slept a few nights on her conversation with Jake, she felt weird and awkward about their agreement, and she debated if she should text him about it, ask how he felt, but her anxiety kept her from it. Instead, she made plans with Lauren to do some work for the class they had together, asking her to meet her in the library at noon.

Lauren had already spread her stuff out on a group table in the top level of the building, had brought her laptop and was reading something on it when Emily walked up to her, taking the seat next to her. “Hey”, Emily said, pulling her textbook and notes from her backpack. Lauren looked up to smile at her briefly, then went right back to reading the news article on her screen.

“What are you reading there?” “Just this article, gimme a minute...”, Lauren mumbled. “Alright”, Emily said, flipping through the pages of her textbook to find the exact paragraph she’d left off at the night before. Someone dropped a stack of books onto the table next to Emily and she jumped in her seat, clutching her chest and looking up with wide eyes. Josh was grinning down at her, quickly sitting down in a chair. “What are you girls doin’?”, he asked, crossing his arms on the table and looking weirdly cheerful, considering the situation he was in, but Emily didn’t dare to mention it.

“Studying… or something… Lauren’s just reading, I dunno”, Emily said, Lauren didn’t even look up from her screen. “Studying or something, aha”, Josh said, his dimples making Emily swallow dryly, trying not to stare. Finally, after another five minutes, Lauren finished reading the article and closed her laptop, her eyes darting back and forth between Josh and Emily, and Emily felt her elbow nudge her arm. When she looked at Lauren, her friend was wiggling her eyebrows at her, and she rolled her eyes. Josh was focused on his own reading material by now, didn’t notice Lauren’s embarrassing gesture.

Later that day, when Emily was at home, shoveling unhealthy amounts of ice cream into her mouth, she thought about how Josh had been there every time she’d visited the library. Of course, it was a coincidence, but it didn’t feel like one, it felt more like the universe was trying to tell her something. She shook her head and scrunched up her nose at the cheesy thought, digging her spoon into the ice cream and finishing the last bit of it with a sigh.

She couldn’t sleep well that night, kept rolling around and wondering if she’d ever have a chance with Josh, or if she’d ruined it forever by dating his twin for two entire days. She remembered the look he’d had on his face when he’d seen her with Jake at the bar, the horrible things Aurora had said to him the next morning, and how terribly sad he seemed after, in contrast to his happy demeanor in the library earlier. It all didn’t quite make sense to her, she was confused, hurting because she desperately wanted to get closer to Josh, but she didn’t want to come off as weird or a bad person after what happened between her and Jake.

Emily kept her head up as best she could, agreeing to meet Lauren at another party, somewhere else this time, someone’s house. Lauren picked her up by bike, but because Emily didn’t have one yet, they walked there, Lauren leaving her bike at Emily’s place. Her colorful jacket once again in contrast to Emily’s dark coat was a welcome distraction from the gloomy weather and the dying leaves slowly beginning to fall everywhere.

They arrived at the house which was already full of students playing drinking games, dancing to the hammering music and even a few couples making out in the corners. “Gross”, Lauren said before spotting one of her friends in the crowd, leaving Emily standing in the doorway. Emily decided to go have a drink, hoped for the sweet fruity punch from the last two parties, but there was only beer and liquor. She shrugged and grabbed a bottle of beer from the open cooler on the floor, opening it with one of the handful of different colored bottle openers on the long table.

There were snacks too and she grabbed a bowl of roasted peanuts before finding an armchair to sit in to get to her most favorite lonesome party game: people-watching. She sipped on her beer, watched a drunk girl fall flat onto her face in the middle of the room and another helping her back up, then both having a laughing fit, and Emily smiled. A boy tried to jump up to the chandelier to see if he could hold on to it and swing, but two others yelled at him to stop and pushed him outside, having a serious discussion with him on the porch while all three heavily intoxicated. Emily could hear every word through the thin glass of the window she was sitting by, and she watched them talk mostly with their hands.

A familiar, wonderful smell hit her then, and a chair was being shuffled closer to her, and she turned her cheek to spot Josh, holding a glass of whiskey himself, smiling weakly at her. “Hey, Emily”, he said, raising his glass, “cheers.” Emily lifted her bottle up to let it clink together with his glass, then took a sip. “How are you doing? I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Jake”, he said, and Emily swallowed, feeling an uncomfortable heat rise up at the back of her neck, and she looked down to the floor. “Yeah, uh, thanks”, she said, barely audible over the loud music, “I’m sorry about you and… Aurora.” Josh’s expression dropped, but he nodded, quickly forcing a smile. “It’s fine. It’s for the best, Jake was right, you know?”, he said, and Emily froze. Was he about to spill his guts to her?

Emily turned a little in her seat, leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and tried to look sympathetic. “Do you need to talk about what happened?”, she asked, and Josh rose his eyebrows, seemed to think it over for a moment, then nodded. “Let’s go outside though.” They got out of their seats and Josh led the way onto the porch, the arguing group of boys long gone, only a lone smoker in the corner talking to someone on the phone. They stood leaning against the railing, half a foot between them, Emily’s beer half empty. Josh sighed deeply, finished his drink, starting to fidget with the glass between his hands. Emily stayed quiet, looking at Josh, waiting for him to collect his thoughts before he spoke.

“I don’t know if you know about any of it yet, how much have you heard?”, he asked, scratching the back of his head and looking down at his feet, his face flushed red. “Virtually nothing. I only heard her call you these nasty things in your apartment when I- you know, spent the night.”, Emily said, taking another swig of her beer, the bitterness keeping her grounded for the moment. Josh nodded, his hand still at the back of his head, fingers buried in his short curls.

“So, she… she was only ever nice to me when she wanted something from me, to be honest. I loved her, and I thought it was a mutual thing, but then she always, always left without a word after sleeping with me at my place, you know, um… sorry for the TMI-“ “It’s okay, Josh”, Emily interrupted, shooting him a sympathetic smile. She could only vaguely imagine how that must have felt, a strong helping of guilt burning in her stomach because she’d left Jake without saying a word too. Josh nodded, looking a bit more relaxed now, his tense shoulders loosening visibly and his eyes meeting Emily’s instead of staring down at his feet.

“And, yeah, she always called me names. Called me useless, all kinds of horrible things, especially when she was drunk. And I can’t believe how long I just accepted that and let her treat me like that. It’s insane, frankly”, he said, laughing a little. “Not insane at all. I get it”, Emily said, stepping closer to Josh and lifting her hand to squeeze his shoulder, encouraging him to go on. “I’m sorry I’m burdening you with this, it’s so random. I should go.”, Josh said. “It’s fine, really. I mean it. I like to think we’re friends, kind of, so I’m gonna listen if you need me.”, Emily said, the tiny bit of alcohol enough to give her the necessary confidence to keep talking to Josh.

“Of course we’re friends, Emily. Jake’s friends are my friends. Lauren’s friends are my friends. Plus, you’re Sarah’s sister, she’s my favorite singer in my year. I swear.”, he said, grinning a little now, clearly feeling better already. “Oh wow, I’m sure she’ll love to hear that”, Emily smiled with a wink. “Oh, she knows. Trust me.”, he said, ogling Emily’s beer bottle, not going unnoticed. She held it out for him and he gratefully took it, finishing it. “I’ll go get some more. You want another?”, he asked, and Emily nodded. “Thank you, Josh.”

They stayed out on the porch for the rest of the night, their coats warm enough to provide comfort in the frigid cold weather, and talked over beers. Emily felt like she’d finally taken a real step in a direction she could live with, if it only was a friendship with Josh, it didn’t matter then. She could listen to him talk for hours, watch him gesticulate and keeping a silent tally of how many times he said ‘you know’. She got lost in his deep brown eyes for a bit, the more beer she had the deeper and prettier they seemed, and she tried to lighten the mood as best she could when he kept confessing all the details about his horrible relationship with Aurora.

It turned out that she’d frequently kissed other people at these frat parties, not wanting to commit to a monogamous relationship, and she’d coerced Josh into staying with her despite all that, telling him he was nothing without her. Emily developed a passionate hate for her then, growing more uneasy with each word he spilled, and by the end of the night she was ready to fight her. “I’ll punch her in the face for you if you want me to, Joshua”, she said, and Josh laughed hysterically, squeezing her knee and shaking his head. “Just forget about her. I’m trying that for now. Seems to help. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, Emily, I had a great time. I’ll see you around”, he said, getting up from the creaky chair on the porch and reaching out his cold hand for Emily to shake and help her up. “Good night, Josh”, she said, watching him walk away up the street.

Lauren was hard to find in the noisy crowd, but Emily finally spotted her in the upstairs bathroom, braiding someone’s hair. “Oh, hey, Emily! Come sit”, she said, pointing at the rim of the bath tub. Emily giggled, shakily walking over, taking the seat offered to her. “What are we doin’?”, she asked, watching Lauren’s fingers work her magic, skillfully braiding the hair and pinning it up into place, making it look like a beautiful hair-do for a wedding. The girl checked it out in the mirror, smiled brightly and pulled Lauren into a hug. “You’re brilliant”, she said, obviously very drunk, pressing a wet kiss to Lauren’s cheek and leaving the room.

“You next”, Lauren said, pointing at the chair in front of hers. “Me? Oh, no, I’m okay”, Emily said. “That wasn’t a question” “Oh… okay” Lauren grabbed a hairbrush and began loosening all the little knots in Emily’s thick black hair, smoothing it out carefully. “I saw you talking to Josh earlier. You okay?”, she asked, starting to part Emily’s hair into three different sections, braiding it into a simple French braid behind her head. “I’m good”, Emily said, smiling at Lauren in the mirror. “He told me about what happened with Aurora. And he said he considers us to be friends.” Lauren grinned, her own dirty blonde hair in a messy bun. “So are you gonna ask him out or what?” “Excuse me?”, Emily laughed.

“You should. Some time. Maybe not this week, but… he likes you.”, Lauren said, focusing her attention back on Emily’s hair. “As a friend, yeah.”, Emily said, watching Lauren’s facial expression in the mirror, she looked like she knew something Emily didn’t. “No, I’m telling you, he likes you. I see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking.” “Bullshit”, Emily spat, half amused, half offended that Lauren would say such a thing to her when she knew she was already struggling with her feelings for Josh. “Not bullshit at all. I see everything. I don’t miss a single detail at these parties, I swear to god.”, Lauren said as she finished the braid, “and I’ve never seen him look at anyone else like that.”


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

The next days were busy for Emily, she was working hard on a term paper that she’d have to hand in soon, doing research online at home because that way she could listen to some records and wear her fluffy socks and sweatpants, making the process much more enjoyable. So, she didn’t see Josh at all for more than a week, and she started to develop some kind of withdrawal, missing his laugh, his bright smile, his ridiculous hair with the short sides and the curly mess on top, not to mention the rat tail at the back of his neck; and most of all she missed his voice.

But there were his little mannerisms too, the heavy use of his hands when he talked, the frequency with which he said “you know”, how he tended to lean forward towards his conversational partners, how he was louder than other people when he was particularly happy, how he said some things in a very theatrical way. She missed his cupid’s bow, his lips, his adorable nose with the little bump in the slope, his tiny hoop earrings, the gap between his front teeth, his deep brown eyes. And he was all she could think about, it gave her a fluttering feeling in her stomach, truly as if there were butterflies inhabiting her guts.

Emily could only vaguely imagine that he was thinking the same things about her, purely based on Lauren’s observation of how he’d been looking at her, which she didn’t believe was that reliable. But she strongly needed it to be true, she just wished it was. And leaving campus right after class and not studying in the library came with a price, which was not seeing him for a ridiculously long time.

But once she’d finished writing her paper on the history of string instruments, sent it in via the college’s mailing system, she agreed to meet Lauren at the library for a short studying session. The weather had cleared up a little for now, the walk through the falling leaves clearing Emily’s head and making her smile. She felt good about her paper, was confident she’d cited everything correctly, and when she saw Lauren smiling and waving at her from the table in the corner as she walked into the building, she jogged through the room and pulled her new friend into a hug. “I missed you”, Lauren said, patting Emily’s back, then sitting back down in her chair. Emily sat next to her, looking at what Lauren was typing up on her laptop.

To Emily’s disappointment, Josh didn’t show up this time. When she packed up her stuff, she noticed the stack of invitations to the college’s theatre group’s first play of the semester on another table, and she grabbed one and shoved it into her jacket pocket on her way out. It stayed there until the next morning, when she put the same jacket on to leave for her early class, noticing it crumpled up in there. She smoothed it out on the kitchen counter and looked at the colorful photo on it, which was adorned with a loopy font saying “Peter and the Starcatcher”. _Classic_, she thought, looking through all the costumes – and spotted Josh right in the front, with a funny expression on his face. Her heart dropped – she’d have to go see that one, under no circumstances would she miss Josh on stage.

She almost fell asleep during her early class, her head dropped on her desk in the back of the lecture hall, barely paying attention. She was lucky to always have the option to revisit the material online a day later, the college had a smoothly working system set in place, but she felt more productive when she actually attended classes, even if she was too tired to participate. After the professor dismissed them, the students hurriedly left the premises, Emily among them. She needed to pick up a book from the library, which was very empty at this time in the morning. She sat down in front of one of the computers and typed in the title of the book she needed, checking where to find it, locating it on the top floor, and she groaned. She could take the elevator, but she needed the exercise of climbing those steps, so she shouldered her bag and made her way upstairs. Slowly, with a good number of sighs and groans, she reached her destination, slightly out of breath, searching for the shelf with the number eight on the side.

“Hey, Emily”, she heard someone say behind her, turned around to see Josh standing there with a smile on his face and yet another stack of books in his arms. “Hey, Josh, how are you?”, she said, smiling back at him. “I’m alright. What about you? I’d give you a hug but-“, he said, nodding down to the books he was holding. Emily swallowed; she’d loved a hug. “That’s alright, next time”, she chuckled, “I’m okay, just tired. Been busy with course work.” “Yeah, I get that. Hey, there’s this play my drama class is putting on, have you seen the invitations around?”, he asked, Emily nodded. “Yeah, I grabbed one, I can’t wait to come see that”, she said, her heart leaping at Josh’s big smile, the little gap between his teeth made her want to kiss him right then and there.

“I hope it’s not boring”, Josh said with a chuckle, “it’s been done so much, I was really annoyed when the professor told us we were gonna do that one first instead of something original and new.” “I really can’t wait to see it, doesn’t matter what it is. I’d just love to see you on stage. I think it’s gonna be great”, Emily said, an encouraging smile on her lips. She caught Josh glancing down at her mouth quickly, saw something shoot through his expression, couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it gave her a pleasant tingle in her gut. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her doing the same all the time, admiring the shape of his cupid’s bow, looking at his lips, the fullness and soft look of them and desperately needing them against her own.

He stayed with her as she found her book on eye level, neatly stored away in alphabetical order. “Let’s go to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast, if you have time?”, Josh suggested, and Emily felt herself grow red with no way to hide it. “Um… yeah, okay. Sounds good”, she said, walking down all the flights of stairs next to him, then outside through the frigid air of autumn, the short way to the cafeteria where they found a table by the window, and Josh dropped the books. He shook out his hands and walked up to the free breakfast buffet with Emily and they both loaded their plates mostly with waffles and hot cherries, but Josh couldn’t resist the triple chocolate muffins and stacked two of them in his free hand after dropping a handful of quarters into the tip jar.

The smell of fresh coffee, sweet pastries and Josh’s scent mixed in Emily’s nose and she was close to tears when she watched him dive into his food like his waffle was the only important thing in existence, closing his eyes as he chewed and nodded, even though the cafeteria food was mediocre at best. He seemed to make the most out of everything he was faced with, and when he’d stuffed both of the muffins into his face, he wiped his mouth with a napkin and finally focused his attention back on Emily, who was only halfway through her meal, snickering to herself about his expressions. “What?”, he asked with a grin. “Nothing, you’re just- you’re cute”, she heard herself say, swallowing a bite of her waffle, a rush of adrenaline drowning out all the sounds around her for a split second, and Josh smiled a ridiculously big smile at her words.

“How’s Sarah doing?”, he asked, catching Emily off-guard as she chewed on a mouthful of hot cherries, and she raised her finger for him to wait until she’d swallowed everything, washing it down with a big gulp of the terrible cafeteria coffee she’d saturated with enough sugar to make two entire children hyperactive. “She’s doing great, she loves college, she’s in a band with her best friends… she’s good.”, Emily said, folding her hands in her lap, expecting Josh to ask her more questions, but he just smiled at her. “Do you have any siblings beside Jake?”, she asked then, trying to keep the conversation going in order to hear his voice some more.

“Oh, yeah, I do. I have a younger sister, Ronnie. She’s great. Then another brother, the youngest, his name’s Sam. He’s… well, he’s funny, that’s for sure.”, he grinned. “Wow, four kids, I kinda feel bad for your parents”, Emily joked, Josh laughed heartily, running his hand through his curls, resting it at the back of his neck, fidgeting with his rat tail. “Yeah, we’re quite the handful. But now Jake and I are in college and out of the house, they get to relax a little bit. With Ronnie, at least. Sam is… you know, Sam’s a wild one. He’s a teenager too, which is… you know”, he said, face flushing red for a second. Emily nodded, she remembered what she had been like going through puberty herself, starting only shortly after Sarah had hit it; a house full of hormonal teenagers could get exhausting.

“I gotta get going, unfortunately”, Josh said then, and Emily felt a little bit disappointed, but when she glanced at the watch around her wrist, she saw that she’d already missed half an hour of a very boring class. “Shit, me too”, she said, jumping out of her seat, taking her empty plate over to the little wagon of trays for dirty dishes, throwing her coffee cup into the bin and grabbing her bag, getting ready to leave. Josh did the same alongside her, and they left the building together, then parted, Josh’s arms still occupied by the stack of books. “See you, Ems”, he said, and she raised her brows at the nickname. That was a new one. “Uh, yeah, see you, Josh!”, she replied with an awkward wave in his general direction, hurrying toward the building her lecture was taking place in, late for the first time ever.

There was just one free seat left in the back, the professor glared at her when she stormed in, interrupting him. She profusely apologized, ducked her head down, embarrassed by the countless stares from the other students already seated and taking notes. She accidentally dropped her textbook to the floor and it caused a loud smacking noise to reverberate through the walls, she clenched her teeth and jumped in her seat before leaning down to pick it up. The rest of the class went by slowly, thick like treacle, and she stopped counting her own yawns after the tenth.

Thankfully the rest of the day was free, so she went home and instantly curled up on the couch for a nap, Arnold sleeping by her feet, and at some point, Sarah came home with a box of donuts which she set down on the couch table before gently waking Emily. “Hey, girlie, I got some donuts! Wake up”, she said, squeezing her little sister’s shoulder and giving Arnold a quick head scratch before walking into the kitchen to make hot chocolate on the stove. Emily slowly sat up, her hair was a mess and the small amount of mascara she’d applied in the morning was smudged. She shivered at the cold air in the room and stood up to turn up the thermostat.

The sisters stayed silent as they munched on the donuts, Emily turned on the TV and found a channel showing old western movies. “Did you go to class?”, Sarah asked when she’d finished her hot chocolate. “Yeah, I did”, Emily said, focused on the shootout happening on screen. “I was late for my second class because I spontaneously had breakfast in the cafeteria. With Joshua.” “Joshua, hmm?”, Sarah grinned, playfully slapping Emily’s arm. “Yes.”, Emily concluded, not really feeling like talking about it. “You guys get along well, I see”, Sarah said, genuinely happy about that development; if anyone was worthy of dating her sister, she felt the it had to be Josh. Emily glared at her though, she hated when Sarah knew what was going on earlier than she did herself. “Shut up, Sarah.”

“Are you going to his play?”, the eldest asked, twirling a strand of her dark hair around her finger. “Yeah, I am.”, Emily just said, keeping it brief so Sarah would stop teasing her. “Did he invite you?” “Shut up, Sarah!” Sarah cackled at how Emily turned red with a glare at her. “You do know it’s the weekend when Mom comes to visit?”, Sarah said and Emily’s eyes widened. “What? How did I now know about that?”, she panicked, turning her attention to Sarah completely now, the movie instantly forgotten. “I can keep her occupied that evening if you ask me nicely”, Sarah teased, and Emily felt defeated. How did Sarah always win these things? “Fine. Please, can you keep Mom off my ass when I go to Josh’s play?” “I’ll consider it.”, Sarah grinned, Emily threw a couch cushion at her sister’s face. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Just over a week later, a Saturday, Emily and Sarah’s Mom, Lydia, drove all the way down to visit them. She rang the doorbell around noon, Emily was just wrapping a towel around her head after a shower, so Sarah opened the door, and Emily could hear happy chatter from the living room until she joined them. “Hey, Mom!”, she said, smiling at her mother who was exactly the same height as her and Sarah, going in for a warm hug. “Ohh, my little bug, there you are!”, the greying middle-aged woman said, closing her arms around her daughter and squeezing her tight, holding her close for a long time. “I missed you both so much.” “Missed you too, Mom”, Emily said, pulling back and curiously looking into the basket of baked goods her mother had brought.

“Oh, there’s a loaf of pumpkin bread in there for you two, I just made that before hitting the road. And then some sweet stuff, cupcakes and cookies and all that. Thought you’d want some, if nobody down here is baking for you!” “Thanks, Mom, this smells so good”, Sarah said, carrying the basket into the kitchen and storing everything away for later. “So, what are we gonna do, any plans? Last time I was here it was just you, Sarah.”, Lydia asked, but Sarah’s reply was interrupted by Arnold running out of Emily’s room, loudly meowing and pressing himself against Lydia’s legs. Lydia cooed, reached down to pick him up and cradled him in her arms like a baby. “Ohh, Arnie, I missed you, yes, I did!”, she said in her kitty-talking voice as she scratched his belly.

The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon inside the apartment, and when it was time for Emily to get ready to leave for the play, Sarah asked Lydia to go see a movie with her, and Emily was left alone. She brushed out her hair, left it open, flowing down her back, shiny and lush, and she did her make-up in her room. She went for a cat-eye and some tinted lip balm, put on some rings to go with her black turtleneck sweater and skinny jeans. She borrowed a pair of shoes from Sarah, black Chelsea boots with a wedged sole.

Her scarlet winter coat provided some color in her outfit and she shouldered her bag and left the apartment in time. The weather was alright, so she walked to campus, had a rough idea of where the little theatre was located, and found it already filling up. She still got a seat somewhere in the middle, and when she’d settled, she heard Jake’s voice from behind her, so she turned. He sat a few rows back, with a young boy and a girl who looked a lot like himself, and a brightly smiling lady, obviously related to all of them as well, next to a bald man, who all looked at Jake as he spoke, then broke out into laughter when he finished his sentence. Jake spotted her then, waved at her, and she waved back, saw the other young boy lean in and whisper something to him, but then she turned back around.

She sat and waited, occasionally taking sips from her water bottle, for another twenty minutes before the house lights were lowered and an old lady walked onto the stage to introduce the play, every actor joined her one by one and she introduced the characters as they took a bow, Emily immediately spotted Josh as he was introduced as Peter Pan, and his family behind her made quite the ruckus when the lady said his name, his Mom breaking out in laughter at his younger brother’s shout. Josh spotted them in the audience and pointed at them with a laugh before taking his place at the back of the stage with the other actors and actresses. Emily giggled to herself, _what a fun family,_ she thought.

The play started and Emily tried to focus on the storyline and every individual character, but Josh stood out to her so much that she could hardly divert her eyes from him. He was dramatically gifted, that much was evident. His gestures, his powerful voice cutting through the room, his facial expressions, he delivered his lines perfectly and the audience seemed to love him. A short break of ten minutes after about an hour of the play, Emily left her coat in her seat and went to hit the restroom before getting herself a bag of popcorn, then returned to her seat, sinking down in the comfortable upholstery with a sigh.

She didn’t notice when Jake approached her and sat down beside her until he cleared his throat. “Oh, hey”, she said, feeling awkward sitting next to him. “Hey, Emily. I just wanted to say Hi properly. And um, Josh asked me to tell you to come down backstage after the play, he wants to talk to you.”, he said, and Emily felt terrible. “I’m so sorry that he made you, of all people, tell me this, oh my god”, she said, grabbed his wrist and gave him an apologetic squeeze.

“Oh, no, actually he didn’t. I told him you were here earlier, and then I talked him into- well, it doesn’t matter. It’s honestly fine. I had a date last night”, he said, and she lightened up, smiling at him. “Really? Oh god, that’s a relief”, she blurted out, and Jake cackled. “Alright”, he said, Emily facepalmed herself. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I’m a mess”, she apologized again, but he shook his head. “It’s okay. I still wanna be friends, you know”, he said.

Emily felt ten times lighter after her short conversation with Jake and she smiled throughout the rest of the play, watching Josh be brilliant on stage, captivating the entire audience in his glow. At the end, when everyone came back on stage for another bow, Josh looked around the audience and Emily saw him spotting her, watched his cheeks turn red, then he smiled at her with a wink, and she hesitantly waved with a shy smile herself.

She stayed in her seat as everybody left, then followed Josh’s family down to the side of the stage where a door led to a corridor lined with more doors. She kept her distance to the Kiszkas, didn’t wanna impose herself on a family moment, but they soon left after hugging Josh and telling him how much fun they’d had, mentioning taking Jake back to their house for the rest of the weekend and some of next week, and Jake winked at her when he walked past her, the rest of the family occupied with chatting to each other, laughing.

The door fell shut behind them and left Emily alone with Josh, who was still in costume. “Hey, Emily”, he said, opening a dressing room door and waving her inside. There were a few more actors sitting in chairs in front of mirrors taking off their own make-up, then packing up and leaving, and Emily watched Josh thoroughly clean his face before he disappeared in an adjacent room for a minute, getting changed into his own clothes, and he dropped his costume in a box by the door when he returned to Emily.

“So, did you really wanna talk to me? Jake said you wanted-“, she began, but Josh cut her off. ”Yeah, yeah, I did.”, he said, sat down on the couch beside her, turning to her, “I was wondering if you, um… if you wanted to go out for drinks with me. Everyone else is going home or out with someone else, I didn’t want to go back to my parent’s house and-“

“Yes. Josh, I would love to go out for drinks. Right now.”, Emily said with a smile, and Josh lightened up. “Awesome.”, he said, clapping in his hands and getting off the couch to grab his belongings. Josh called a cab for them, said he knew the perfect place that didn’t check IDs, and took her to a lively bar in the center of the city, leading her past the smokers out front and to a table in the back. She quietly followed him, felt a bit overwhelmed by the amount of people, but Josh’s presence was calming, and he went to get them drinks.

“So, what did you think of the play?”, Josh asked her as he set down her cocktail and his Salty Dog along with _a bunch_ of shots of Tequila, swiftly sitting down opposite from Emily, clad in his salmon colored shorts and a Christmas sweater, in September. “Oh gosh, I forgot to tell you, I loved it, it was amazing. You were really great. I thought it’d be cheesy because it’s a classic play, but you really turned it into something special.”, Emily said, Josh smiled his widest smile, reaching out for Emily’s hand on the table, giving it a quick squeeze, then pulling back. “Thank you, Emily, that means a lot.”

“I thought your family was so cute”, she continued, and Josh laughed at that. “Cute? I can’t ever tell them that, it’ll go straight to their heads. Especially Sam’s”, he said, taking a big gulp of his drink. “Shots?”, he proposed, and Emily couldn’t say no to that. They downed all four rounds of shots in a row, and Emily felt herself loosen up quickly, starting to get giggly. Josh ordered even more drinks, and soon she lost all restraint and moved to sit next to him in the booth instead of at the other side of the table, and he laid an arm around her waist as they talked. Josh told her about how he grew up, always camping and hiking and singing in the middle of nowhere around his family, how they were all very close and he loved them very much.

He asked Emily about her own family, about Sarah, their parents, and Emily told him about their Dad passing away when she was only three years old, and how her Mom had struggled to keep them afloat for a long time before finally finding a great job only a few years ago, how Sarah had come out as a lesbian not too long after, and how her Mom’s progressive values had allowed for some much needed harmony in their lives. She told him about Arnold, whom he had never met before, and promised him to introduce them at the soonest opportunity. His arm around her made her shift in her seat, their thighs touching, his fingertips lazily grazing her hip, and she was clouded in his scent and warmth, never wanted to leave again.

Josh was comparatively calm, seemed to be grounded by the fact that Emily was so close to him, and his cheeks turned redder and hotter by the minute. She smelled heavenly, like vanilla, and something else sweet he couldn’t put his finger on, and she looked gorgeous with the thin eyeliner on her lids and the plush pink lips, the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile whenever he talked, and he couldn’t help but stare at her mouth again and again. She was pretty, very pretty, her hair was so long and shiny and he wished he could gather it in his hand and run his fingers through, feeling the silky softness and admiring the naturally pitch-black color.

After another round of drinks, he just did it, smoothed her hair down her back, loosened some light knots here and there, and she just looked at him with a shy smile, seemed to enjoy his soft touches. They stayed quiet for a while before Josh had an idea. “What’s your favorite pick-up line?”, he asked, drunken drawl on his tongue, watching her emerald green eyes widen, her perfect eyebrows rise. “Ummm, I dunno. I don’t think I know any, besides the old _Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?_” Josh laughed. “Yeah, that one’s pretty good. My favorite has to be _I’m going to_ _put you on my to-do list.” _Emily scoffed, then broke out into giggles, Josh’s hand still gently running through her hair.

“But I have one just for you, though”, he said, winking at her with both eyes, and she blushed and felt her heart beat in her ears. “Oh yeah? What is it?”, she asked, biting down on her bottom lip, watching his eyes dart down to her lips, then back up into her eyes. He cleared his throat, took a sip of his drink. “You like sleep? So do I. Let’s do it together.”, he said, completely serious look on his face, and she giggled before she understood that he actually meant it. Her heart dropped, her mouth fell slightly open and she studied his expression before she could gather the poise to reply. “Uh-Ummm…”, she stammered, swallowed dryly, “let’s do it then.” Josh’s face lit up immediately, he watched Emily blush before cupping her face in his hand and moving in to press his lips to hers.

Emily didn’t register it until a few seconds in, then she kissed Josh back. She shuffled closer to him, laid her arm around his neck and her free hand on his cheek, and moved her lips with his, only lips for now, but his mouth felt heavenly on hers. His lips were so soft, so plush, and he was an even better kisser than Jake. He was careful, soft, calculated in his movements, stroked her jaw with his thumb, her back with his hand, then moving it up to the back of her head, holding her close to him. They opened their eyes in between pecks and smiled at each other before diving back in. Josh elicited a sweet little moan from her, to which he responded with a groan, finally deepening the kiss by letting his tongue slide against her lips.

She responded by biting down on his bottom lip before brushing her tongue against his and letting him take the lead again. Emily couldn’t believe what she was doing, and with whom she was doing it; the butterflies in her stomach went crazy, making her feel nervous but at the same time so, so good and excited. Josh didn’t feel much different, suddenly felt a need to confess something to her and pulled back, pressing his forehead against hers. “Emily”, he began, licking his swollen lips, her sweet taste on them lingering, “I need to tell you something.” Emily swallowed, scared that their little romantic escapade would end here; she didn’t wanna have to let him go, but what he said then made her relax instantly. “I thought you were super hot the second I first saw you, and I think you’re rad, and I’m sorry that it took me four entire weeks to tell you this, but I really, really like you.”

Emily laughed, shaking her head in disbelief, couldn’t believe that Lauren had actually been right the entire time. “Josh?”, she said, could barely breathe through her excitement. “I really like you too. I think you’re hot too. I’ve thought that from the beginning, it didn’t work out with Jake because I had too much of a crush on you.” Josh laughed, holding his stomach. “Really? Oh my god”, he said, cackling, and Emily joined his laughter. “Yes, it was ridiculous, I felt so bad!” “Does he know?”, he asked. “Yes, he knows, and he’s still my friend. You two are some gems.” Josh smiled at her then, reached up to cup her cheek again and kissed her softly. Emily pulled back first, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, drunk not just on alcohol. “So? Where do we go?”, she asked, her self-restraint leaving her for good. She just wanted to get out of here with him. He smiled and led her outside, calling another cab.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first smut warning!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Josh and Emily stood outside the bar to wait for the cab, facing each other and holding hands. “You’re so pretty” Josh said and moved in closer, his nose brushing against hers before he kissed her again. “You’re very pretty too”, Emily said in between pecks, couldn’t get enough of him, his touches and his scent. Josh smiled against her lips, lifting his hands to cup her head and hold her close, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and eagerly kissed him back.

The cab arrived soon after they pulled away from each other, and Josh stumbled forward to hold the door open for Emily. She giggled and climbed into the back seat, fastened her seatbelt as Josh walked to the other side of the cab with his hand on the vehicle to steady himself. He dropped down in the seat next to Emily and told the driver his address, then grabbed Emily’s hand and squeezed it tight, earning a smile from her; he loved her smile. She had the hint of a lone dimple on her right cheek, and she smiled with her entire face, not just her mouth. She rarely showed her teeth, but when she did, Josh couldn’t take his eyes off the pristine pearly white of them, some of her front bottom teeth slightly crooked, which gave her an incredible charm.

Josh could tell she didn’t ever wear foundation, and she obviously didn’t need any. Her skin was flawless and soft, her complexion quite pale, giving her a slight goth aesthetic look which he couldn’t get enough of. He spotted a tiny freckle below her lip, let his eyes wander and saw another one on her cheek close to her ear, and he couldn’t wait to find more all over her and press kisses to all of them.

Emily couldn’t stop looking at Josh. His cupid’s bow fascinated her, she wanted to follow the shape of it with her fingertip, the little bump in his nose caused her heart to flutter, he had a little scar on his left cheek that disappeared in a dimple when he smiled. His brows were thick and untamed, but the perfect shape to complement his deep brown eyes. His haircut accentuated his jawline and showed off his little hoop earrings, the curly mess on top of his head invited her to run her fingers through and smooth it out between them, but she restrained herself in the cab, didn’t want to annoy the driver.

As soon as Josh had paid the fare, he jumped out of the cab, rushed around to open the door for Emily again, helping her up, laying an arm around her waist to keep her steady as he walked her up to the apartment, fishing the keys from his pocket and unlocking the door with a shaky hand. As soon as he closed the apartment door behind himself, she was all over him, pressing herself against him and pulling his face down into a heated kiss. His arms snaked around her and pulled her in tight, his hands roaming her back, slowly wandering down to her ass, squeezing it and moaning into the kiss when she did the same to him. She couldn’t stop squeezing his butt for a while, the firm flesh in her hands making her want to do all kinds of stuff to him.

Josh backed her up towards the kitchen, pulled back from her eager kiss for a second to ask her if she wanted coffee. “No, I just want you, please”, she breathed, pulling him back down, and he giggled against her lips. They made their way to the back of the hallway, to the only room in the apartment that Emily hadn’t already been in, and Josh’s hands were all over her as he tried to stay pressed to her as tightly as he could, walking them into the room, kicking the door shut behind himself and backing her up to the bed. 

The mattress hit the back of her knees and she sank down on it, pulling Josh with her by the front of his sweater, fists closed around the soft material pulling it up over his head. She looked down at his exposed chest, bit down on her lip and swiftly undid the button and fly of his shorts. He pushed her up, further onto the mattress, crawled over her and kissed her feverishly, slipping his hands under her own sweater in the front, tugging at it until she pulled it off over her head.

She wasn’t wearing a bra underneath, and Josh groaned at the sight of her exposed to him, the alcohol in his veins dizzying him as he kissed down her jaw, held her down by her sides, her arms around his neck. The trail of kisses he placed from her jaw over her neck to her collarbone felt warm and soft to her, and she yelped in surprise when he suddenly latched onto her nipple, sucking and biting at it to tease her, and she buried her fingers in his hair with a moan.

He did the same to her other nipple, hardening them both easily, running his hand over her breast and brushing his fingertips against the peak. “So beautiful”, he whispered between pecks to her chest. He trailed down further with his kisses, over her tummy down to her abdomen, undoing the button of her skinny jeans, unzipping it, pulling it down, and she shimmied out of the tight material as he pulled it off her legs.

Emily sat up and shuffled down to the edge of the bed where he stood, slipping her fingers into the waistband of his shorts and pulling them down. She looked up into his eyes, waiting for a nod, then did the same to his boxer briefs, and gasped at the sight of him already half hard in front of her. “Oh my god, Josh”, she said, her mouth watering as she looked back up at him. He smirked at her, scratching the back of his neck, and drunkenly drawling “Not bad, huh?” before backing her all the way back up against the headboard.

He kissed her again, more demanding, groaning when she bit down on his bottom lip again, keeping it between her teeth for a second, pulling at it playfully, only causing him to kiss her more hungrily and to reach up to squeeze her breast with his warm hand. His knee between her legs shifted up, pressed against her heat, and she grinded down against him with a gasp. He felt the damp material of her underwear against his thigh and lowered his hand to her center, sliding his fingertips against her through the fabric, and she moaned desperately as he looked at his own hand between her legs.

“More”, Emily moaned, her arms around Josh’s neck constricting his movement, but he kept looking down when he slipped his hand into her underwear and let his fingers glide through her dripping folds, hissing through his teeth. “Oh my god”, he groaned, “you’re so fucking wet. For me?” “Mmmm, yesss”, she nodded, and he started circling her clit with slick fingers, running them down through her folds and spreading her arousal, couldn’t believe what he was hearing when she softly whimpered and whined. “Please, Emily, make that noise again”, he grunted as he flicked her clit with his fingertips over and over. She gasped and melted against him, jerked her hips into his touch with a sweet cry.

The alcohol in her veins made her feel so tingly and warm beneath him, and she angled her leg, pulled it up and wrapped it around his hip, pulling his groin flush against her other thigh, and he rutted up against her soft flesh there, grinding his cock into her skin, groaning as he focused his attention back on her face, kissing her more. His fingers on her clit sped up as her breaths got more erratic, more desperate, and her kisses sloppier and wetter, her moans louder and higher. She felt herself getting close and muffled her cries by biting down on his shoulder, pushing his head down onto her own. “Come on, cum for me”, Josh coaxed, his hot breath against her skin, and she fell apart under him. Her gorgeous moans in his ear made him grind his hips against her thigh again, and he moaned with her as she arched her back and whined and clawed at his back.

“Fuck, you’re amazing”, he said, convinced he’d just seen the most beautiful thing in the world unfold with her orgasm. She tried to catch her breath as he pulled her underwear off completely, splaying his hands on the insides of her thighs and pushing them apart and up. He saw how wet she was when the low light through the window illuminated her pelvis, shiny and open beneath him. “God, you’re gorgeous everywhere”, he said, dragged a finger through her folds, making her jerk her hips with another sweet cry, and he lowered himself so his arms were looped around her thighs and his hands splayed on her abdomen. His fingertips ghosted to the sides of her hips and he got a tight grip on them before pressing some wet kisses to her thighs.

She dug her fingers into his hair again, grazing his scalp with her nails, and she sobbed when he placed and open-mouthed kiss to her clit. He flattened his tongue against her heat, lapped at her, gathering all her juices and drinking her down with a thick moan at the back of his throat, sending vibrations through her. “You taste even better than you sound”, he said in between kitten licks at her sensitive clit, she couldn’t believe how eagerly he was spoiling her with his tongue. “Fuck, Josh”, she cursed under her breath, her legs shaking from the pleasure he provided, relentlessly licking and sucking at her flesh, and when he pushed a finger up into her heat, her hips shuddered and she moaned loudly.

“Ohh, fuck”, she cursed, digging her nails into his back, and he chuckled, adding another finger just to tease her out of her mind, and it worked. He found out all her weaknesses, learned what she especially liked just by trying things and watching how she responded, finding the exact little spot at the side of her clit that made her sob when he flicked his tongue against it. He pumped his fingers in and out of her, drowning in her arousal, hellbent on making her cum as many times as she could take; he had his honor to defend, and it showed. When she came undone with his mouth on her and his fingers curling up into her G-Spot, she practically screamed, twitching, shuddering and tensing up in his grasp, losing her mind about what a jackpot she’d hit.

The intensity of both her orgasms were unparalleled by anything anyone else had been able to give to her, crushing her and turning her breathing erratic. She was shaking when Josh moved off and out of her, the loss of contact making her shudder, and she tugged him up to her face by his hair, pulling him into a kiss that knocked the breath out of his lungs. He couldn’t get enough of her little noises, of her muscles twitching, of her warm skin against his, of her soft thighs and bum, her cute breasts and her beautiful face, and he kissed her back deeply, knotting his brows and cupping her face.

She reached down between them and searched for his hard cock, wrapped her fingers around the base and jerked her wrist, giving him a few tugs with her fist, and looked down between their bodies, watched herself stroke along his thickness, couldn’t wait for him to bury it deep inside her, but for now she had another plan. She shoved at his shoulder, made him roll off her and onto his back, leaning against the headboard himself now. With his mouth open, his eyes fixed on hers, he watched her crawl between his knees, her hands on his thighs, lowering herself to her front. Her lush hair playing around her shoulders and her pale face illuminated, he reached out to cup her cheek with one hand, the other on his lower stomach, and she took that one into hers.

Her free hand then grasped the base of his cock again, holding him up to her swollen lips, and she licked a broad stripe from base to tip, sighing and closing her eyes when she heard his thick moan. She wrapped her lips around the head of his cock, slowly sucking him further into her mouth, listening to his breath hitch in his throat, a deep groan, low whines as she worked her mouth around him. Stroking with her fingers tight around his base where she couldn’t reach, still holding his hand on his stomach, she began to bob her head. Her lips tight around him, her hot tongue flush against him, he felt like he was in heaven. 

She moved carefully, very calculated, and she never broke eye contact with him, blinking up at him with her eyeliner slightly smudged, her long lashes brushing her cheeks, but it was clear that she knew what she was doing. The pleasure never ceased when he was buried in her mouth, she continuously sucked and licked and stroked him, the hair of his happy trail under her hand tickling her. She enjoyed herself too, he could tell she was loving every second and every inch of him on her tongue, occasionally pulling back and sticking out her tongue to gather the pre-cum that was leaking from him; he was really hard and Emily couldn’t believe she’d caused that much blood to flow down from his brain into his groin, high on the feeling and the taste of him.

His breathing turned heavier with each time she let him hit the back of her throat, and soon enough he was panting, moaning wildly, and she wouldn’t stop pleasuring him, couldn’t stop herself from making him cum on her tongue. His hand in her hair tightened into a fist, tugging her down, and he jerked his hips up as he came, his release spurting out, hot, salty and sticky, and she swallowed every last drop, moaning around him and only moving off to lick him clean, holding him tightly in her hand. “God, you’re delicious”, Emily said, licking her lips and pulling her hand from his, propping herself up on the mattress and crawling over him, sitting in his lap and pressing her breasts against his chest.

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll forget where you are”, Josh said, and when she whined and dropped her head onto his shoulder, grinding down against him in his lap, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight. He pressed his lips to her neck, kissed her softly, over and over until she turned her cheek and kissed him back. They moved their mouths in unison, moaning against each other’s lips, hungrily exchanging spit and other bodily fluids, tasting each other, their tastes mingling on their tongues. “You’re so hot”, Emily said when she’d pulled back and dropped her head on his shoulder again, raking her nails down his chest, eliciting a satisfied grunt from Josh as she grinded down against him.

She felt him pulse against her folds, and sure enough he was hard again in no time, brushing against her clit, his hands wandering down to her ass and pushing her against himself. They stared into each other’s eyes when Emily reached down to line him up with herself. She pressed her forehead against his, their mouths open and a slight smile on both their lips, and then she sat down on him, letting him slip inside, stretching her, filling her up just right. She moaned at the friction, the burning stretch, the dull ache in her groin, and he moaned at the tight, warm feeling of her walls around his cock, pulling her in for another sloppy kiss as she adjusted to his size.

She needed a moment, he was pulsing and throbbing inside her, she felt every inch and the slight upwards curve of his cock provided just the right amount of pressure on her G-Spot. “God, oh, fuck, Josh, you feel so good”, she breathed, dropping her head again, sinking her teeth into his shoulder as she shifted her hips forward and let him slip out of her almost all the way, then moving back down on him, and he groaned loudly. “Fuck, you’re so wet, so tight, feel s-so good”, he grunted, his hands on her ass helping her pick up a slow pace, riding him slow and sweet.

Her breasts bounced in front of his chest and he couldn’t look away, lifted his left hand from her ass to cup one of them and knead it carefully, his thumb brushing against her nipple, his fingers warm against her skin. She looked at him as she bit down on her lip and held onto his shoulders as she lifted and dropped herself on him over and over. Josh leaned forward to start kissing her neck, sucking at her to form a faint mark, sinking his teeth into her skin and making her moan when he jerked his hips up at the same time, hitting her deep. 

She was far from quiet during sex, so was he. They both freely moaned, groaned and cursed as Emily rode his cock, circling her hips a little so he’d hit her at every angle, picking a favorite and focusing on that then. He watched her work her pelvis against his, coating him in her juices, warming him and providing a delicious friction that made him blink his eyes shut and drop his head back against the headboard with a deep groan. Emily studied his face, his knotted eyebrows, his lush lips quivering with each thrust, his cheeks red and hot, his eyes closed and a blissful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Oh god, fuck, please never stop riding me like that, Ems”, he huffed and she giggled at the nickname. “What?”, he laughed, still tipsy but more drunk on her in his lap than the alcohol. “Keep calling me that, I like that”, she said, throwing her head back to let her hair fall down her back and out of the way, picking up her pace on him, and he thrust up into her to meet her rhythm. She whined and moaned so sweetly into his ear, then clenched around him. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, she breathed, gripping his shoulders tighter, letting Josh push her down hard on his cock a few more times. “Come on, Ems, cum for me again… that’s so hot, keep doing that”, he coaxed as her moans turned high-pitched and her breaths were shallow, then she came hard, once again, and he desperately held her in place as she threatened to flail off him with how her back arched and her legs shook, her toes curled and her head dropped onto his chest. 

Her sobbing cries accentuated the contractions he felt squeezing his cock, and a drop of sweat ran down his forehead to the tip of his nose. When she’d come down, he wrapped his arms around her waist again and swiftly turned them around, her onto her back, without slipping out of her, and she squealed. He pushed her leg up, draped it over his chest, placed it on his shoulder and leaned forward, providing a deeper angle for him to fuck her in. She gasped as he propped himself up on his elbows, her leg between them thanks to her youthful flexibility. He started out slow, finding a good angle to bury himself to the hilt, then began fucking her hard and fast, her clit oversensitive and her moans erratic. He shifted his hips upwards every time he was buried deep, not just hitting her G-Spot that way but also stimulating her clit from the inside.

She lost her mind at his level of skill, felt herself already getting close again as he fucked her, holding her down with the weight of his body and her leg slid down a bit, his arm hooked around the back of her knee now, her foot on his back, and she reached around him to squeeze his ass again, felt his muscles moving and moaned, tears spilling from her eyes, and Josh kissed them away before attaching his lips to her neck again. Emily whined and moaned, loud and sweet, coaxing him into fucking her harder, deeper, and he went up to his limits, gave everything, needed to feel and see her cum another time, wanted to make her feel so good she’d never want to sleep with anyone else ever again.

He didn’t know that she’d already decided that two orgasms ago. He couldn’t take the pleasure much longer, another rush of wetness around his cock, and the hot and tight feeling of her overwhelming. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum, Emily, I’m so close”, he breathed, still fucking her hard and making their pelvises collide with an obscene wet noise. “Me too, oh god, oh fuck”, she moaned, dug her nails into the firm flesh of his ass and fell apart once more. Her breathy, high-pitched cries filled his ears, she contracted around him again, but was too exhausted to move much, her muscles giving in, and she just collapsed with a final sharp cry when he buried himself deep once last time. 

He was pulled over the edge by the sound of her beautiful cries and the feeling of her tightening around him, and her scent and the touch of her skin only made him feel more elated. A guttural groan fell from his lips, then a series of more thick grunts and groans as he jerked his hips against her a few more times, much slower, but just as deep, and she could feel some more of his release coat her walls. He collapsed on top of her, his weight calming for some reason, and she laced her fingers through his curls and gently raked her nails up and down his scalp, soothing him. They caught their breaths in that position, silent apart from their heartbeats and huffs. 

After a while, Josh moved off Emily, slipping out of her and leaving her shivering, but instead of pulling the blanket over herself she stood up and rushed to the bathroom to clean herself up first, the sticky fluids running out of her. She peed with the door still open, and Josh giggled at the noise, smitten by every single thing Emily did, even her preventing herself from getting a UTI. He heard her flush and got out of bed too, joining her in the lit bathroom, finally getting a good look of her naked form, stumbling, clutching his heart dramatically as they looked at each other. “My god, you’re a goddess”, he said, and she blushed and smiled, pressed a quick kiss to his cheek in passing before crawling back into his bed.

When he joined her, she’d put her panties back on and was putting her hair up in a bun. He leaped into bed and she almost fell off as the mattress shook, squealing and swatting at his bare chest. “Joshua!” He pulled her flush against him, kissed her softly and pulled the blanket over both of them. “You want me to stay?”, Emily asked quietly, curling herself against him, enjoying his warmth too much to leave. “Are you kidding? Of course I do. Can’t remember the last time a girl stayed with me after.”, he said, sort of choked up at the end, and Emily cupped his face in her hands and tutted before kissing him. “I’ll stay. I’d love to wake up next to you.”, she said and he sighed, almost crying, tears welling up in his eyes, and he ran his fingers through her hair again, smoothing it out and looking into her eyes with a grateful smile.


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Emily woke up with a throbbing headache and a sour stomach, disoriented and sweaty, and it took her a moment to remember where she was. The naked boy next to her had his arm around her shoulders and was snoring lightly, his gorgeous features glowing in the light of the sunrise falling in through the window. His hand on his stomach twitched when Emily took it in hers, the blanket had been pushed down to their hips during the night. She curved into his side and pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, then moved on to kiss his lips properly, gently waking him from his dreams.

Josh hummed when he felt Emily’s plush lips on his own, kept his eyes closed as he kissed her back and pulled her flush against himself. He needed a moment to overcome the disorientation of the morning as well, then slowly blinked his eyes open and smiled when he saw Emily’s beautiful face in front of him. “Good morning”, she said, stroking his hand with her thumb and pressing a kiss to his nose, making him scrunch his face up and chuckle. “Good morning”, he replied, his lips slightly chapped and his tongue dry and thirsty. “Unfortunately, I have to go”, she said, and he furrowed his brows with a pout. “Oh… okay”, he said, sounding defeated, but she kept holding and stroking his hand and gave him a weak smile, looking bummed herself.

“Wait, why? Can’t we have breakfast together?”, he asked, and the exhaustion slowly but steadily lifted from him. “I can’t today. My Mom is over at my place, and I need to go take my pill in time because you came inside me last night”, she said with a giggle and pressed her fingertip against the tip of his nose. He opened his mouth and caught her finger between his teeth with a quick movement, playfully biting down on it before letting it go again. She cupped his cheek in her hand and leaned in for another soft kiss.

“Okay, I’ll let you go, but I have conditions”, he said with a smile, couldn’t stop looking deep into her eyes, couldn’t get enough of her bare skin against his. She chuckled, shaking her head. “What are they?” “You have a cup of coffee with me in my kitchen, and you let me brush your hair.”, he said, absolutely serious, but a cheeky smile played around his lips. She tilted her head and looked at him in complete awe, still couldn’t believe she was really here in his bed, the memories of last night still fresh and making her heart flutter. “Okay”, she said, then rolled out of bed, gathering her clothes and disappearing in the bathroom.

Josh opened the window to air out the smell of sex and sleep, got dressed in a Kimono he pulled from his closet, didn’t bother with underwear, just walked into the kitchen and prepared two mugs of coffee. Emily joined him shortly after with a hairbrush in her hand, fully clothed, face clean and fresh despite her hangover. “Do you have an Aspirin for me?”, she asked, he nodded and rummaged through a cabinet for a minute before handing her a bottle of Aspirin and a glass of cold water. “Thank you”, she said with a smile, her eyes locked on his as she took the medicine and downed the water.

He took the brush from her and gestured for her to sit down in a chair, then he smoothed all her hair down her back and started brushing from her roots to the ends, carefully untangling every knot and massaging her scalp in the process. She hummed and closed her eyes; his gentle touches were soothing and sweet. “Gorgeous”, he whispered when he was finished, running his fingers through the thick strands, the silky feeling making his heart jump. He stepped to her side and leaned down, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply.

They drank their coffee in silence, just looking at each other, both still in disbelief and pleasant shock, studying each other’s features, trying to memorize every small detail, every curve and every crease; Josh couldn’t believe the brilliance of her emerald eyes, and she lost herself in the warmth of his chocolate brown ones, let her eyes follow the curve of his cupid’s bow over and over, hoping she would kiss him another million times.

Emily finished her coffee first, but she waited until he’d emptied his mug as well until she stood up and smoothed down the front of her sweater, then went to get her shoes and slipped into them in the hallway, Josh watching her, leaning against the doorframe. He called her a cab and she threw on her coat then, the crimson color suiting her so well that his heart ached. “You’re so beautiful”, he said, stepping up to her and placing his palms on her cheeks again, leaning down to kiss her once more before she left the house. He stayed in the doorframe and looked at her standing outside, waiting for her ride, and she looked back at him and giggled at the sight of him in the flowy, purple Kimono. The cab came pretty soon and she waved at him as she climbed inside the cozy warmth of the vehicle, he blew her a kiss goodbye.

Emily checked her phone in the back of the cab as it slowly drove away from Josh’s place and onto the main road that led back to hers, and found two missed calls from Sarah. She hadn’t left a message so it couldn’t have been _that_ important; Emily dropped the phone back in her bag and leaned back in the warm seat. “Okay, here we are”, the driver said when he’d pulled up to her apartment building, turning around to her. She tipped him generously and stumbled out of the cab, pushing the door shut and running up the stairs to the apartment. She unlocked and opened the door as quietly as she could, knowing Sarah and Lydia would still be asleep.

Sarah was curled up on the couch, buried under a pile of blankets, drooling onto a pillow, Arnold stretched out in her arms. Emily smiled and sneaked into her room to gather some fresh clothes, then went to take a thorough shower. Her rich vanilla scented moisturizer made her skin feel soft and healthy, and the pair of leggings and the long-sleeved black shirt she dressed herself in fit her perfectly, accentuating her figure. She slipped her feet into Sarah’s pair of slippers and went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

A stack of fresh pancakes, a bottle of syrup and a big bowl of berries on the table, she started brewing coffee and went to wake her mother, who was sleeping in Sarah’s bed, then called for Arnold and fed him. Arnold clumsily wriggling out of Sarah’s arms woke her too, and soon the entire family was gathered at the breakfast table, sipping on fresh coffee and munching on the pancakes and fruit. “Where’d you sleep last night?”, Sarah asked with a grin, Emily rolled her eyes. “You know where I slept.”, she said and popped a big, juicy blueberry into her mouth.

“So, at Josh’s. Did you, uh, did something happen?”, Sarah asked, too curious to keep her sister’s secret. “Who’s Josh?”, Lydia asked with a raised brow. “Emily’s new boyfriend”, Sarah said, stirring some more cream into her coffee. “He’s not… okay. You know what? I’m not gonna talk about it right now.”, Emily decided, and her Mom and sister left her alone for the remainder of the day, up until Lydia had to leave.

“So, Emily, I hope things go well with Josh, whoever he may be to you. I hope he’s good to you.”, she said when she’d put on her shoes and coat and gathered her things in her bag. “Thank you. He is. He’s very sweet.”, Emily said with a smile, pulling her mother into a long hug, patting her back and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Love you.” “Love you too, Mom.” Emily watched as Sarah said her goodbyes too, and Arnold had to endure getting picked up one last time, he meowed loudly as Lydia kissed him on the head, then let him down, and he ran off into Emily’s room.

Lydia left and the two sisters watched her get into her car and drive off from the front door before racing back upstairs and dropping on the couch, pulling up their legs and turning on the TV to pass the rest of the Sunday. “So? Are you gonna tell me what happened last night?”, Sarah asked, poking Emily’s leg with her foot. Emily sighed and dropped her head back against the couch cushions. “Well, we went out for drinks after the play, which was really great by the way, and then um… we kissed, and he took me home with him and… you know what happened then. I don’t even have to say it, stop grinning!”, Emily said, throwing a cushion at her sister.

“So, how was he?”, Sarah asked as she stuffed the cushion behind her head to prop herself up, and Emily scoffed and glared at her for a moment, before she muttered her reply under her breath. “Phenomenal.”, she whispered, and Sarah grinned. “I’m so happy for you, Emily”, she said, sounding sincere, and Emily raised a brow at her and watched her expression for a moment. “Thank you”, she said then, relaxing a little, “I think he wants to see me again.” The younger blushed and dropped her face against her knees pulled up to her chest to hide her giddy smile, but it didn’t go by Sarah at all. “Adorable”, she said, reaching out to squeeze Emily’s hand.

Sarah didn’t tease Emily about Josh anymore, had quickly accepted the seriousness of her sister’s crush, and knew Josh wouldn’t go out of his way to hurt her. She left it to them to handle their business like adults, just like she did hers. Emily went to bed early, needed to catch up on sleep before the new week began, but Josh texted her the exact moment she turned off her bedside lamp. She unlocked the phone and opened the message, reading it twice over.

“Hey, Ems. I had a lovely time with you, and I hope you did too. How was the day with your Mom? Would you like to go for lunch with me tomorrow? Have a good night. Josh x”

Emily giggled at the formality of his text, the little x at the end, and replied quickly before turning off her phone and curling up with Arnold to go to sleep.

“Hi, Josh, I had the best time with you, thank you. Today was great, but I missed you. Let’s do it! Can’t wait to see you. Good night. Emily xxx”

If she could have seen Josh’s face light up as he read her text, she would have started to cry out of pure adoration, his smile would have sent her spiraling, would have prompted her to press kisses all over his face and hold him so tight. And if she could have seen what his name for her was on his phone, she would have straight up started to sob.


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Emily could barely stay awake during her morning class, but as soon as she spotted Josh waiting for her, she felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through her veins and she smiled and waved at him, wanted to squeal in delight at the wide toothy grin plastered on his face. He pulled her into a firm hug, smelled as enticing as ever, and he ran his hand through her hair as he pressed his face against the side of her neck, taking a deep breath in and refusing to let go for a long time.

Emily saw Lauren pass them in the hallway, smiling at her and giving her a thumbs up as she left the building. Enveloped in Josh’s arms and scent, Emily was finally awake and happy to be conscious, but she dreaded the end of her lunch break already anyway. Josh took her hand and they walked to the cafeteria, both had some overcooked and underseasoned pasta as they looked at each other over the table, Josh’s hand warm in Emily’s next to their plates.

“What do you say we ditch the rest of our classes and go to the arcade?”, Josh suggested, and Emily sighed. She had a nagging need to attend as many classes as she could, but she also wanted to spend more time with Josh before the next weekend. “I really wanna say yes”, she said, then finished her glass of water. “But?”, Josh said, raising his brows in a pleading expression. “But I’m gonna feel bad for missing those classes”, she concluded, leaning back in her seat but leaving her hand in Josh’s on the table.

“I promise you’ll pass those classes, if you attend them today or not”, Josh said, and Emily knew he was right, there was always the option of catching up with the material later. She sighed deeply but couldn’t hide her excited smile, and Josh grinned. “Okay, let’s go then.”, Emily said, and they left campus soon after, hand in hand, Josh carrying both their bags, wouldn’t let Emily _ruin her back_ with all those heavy books.

The arcade wasn’t far from campus, but Emily hadn’t been there yet; she was pleasantly surprised by the entire aesthetic of the place, a lot of eighties nostalgia, and there was even a room for smokers in the back, with all the same games as in the front. There was a little area you could sit in and have a milkshake, so that’s what they did. They sat in a booth, but next to each other, and Josh placed his hand on Emily’s thigh as he ordered a strawberry milkshake with two straws. Emily leaned into his side, her head on his shoulder, and he laid his own head against the top of hers, turning his cheek for a quick peck to her hair.

Emily couldn’t believe what she was doing and who she was doing it with, it all still seemed like a dream, and the memories of their first night together still made her squirm in her seat. The milkshake arrived, huge, pink and topped off with a mountain of whipped cream, and Emily’s eyes widened when Josh handed her the spoon, letting her have it all, only taking a sip through one of the straws himself as he watched her dig into the cream with delight. He smiled to himself and a low chuckle erupted from his chest when she looked at him with the spoon in her mouth and wide eyes glowing in the dim light of the arcade.

Emily piled up a big spoonful of cream and held it up to Josh’s face, letting it collide with the tip of his nose, leaving a dollop of the sweet white stuff there before he opened his mouth with a laugh and let her feed him. She leaned in to kiss his nose, taking care of the mess she’d made, and it was all much too sweet for her heart to handle at once, so she leaned back into him, burying her face against his shoulder and letting him wrap his arms around her. “You’re so cute”, Josh said quietly, pulling her against his chest and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

When they’d finished the milkshake, Josh led her to one of his favorite games, Street Fighter II. Emily hadn’t been to an arcade before, had never played a single fighting game in her life, so she lost every round to Josh, but she didn’t mind in the slightest. She had fun with him, loved watching him get really into it with his tongue sticking out between his teeth in concentration, furiously hitting the buttons and laughing wildly every time he won a round, then apologizing with a peck to her cheek each time.

Emily wanted to try Pac Man next and asked Josh to show her how to play, so he stood behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder, directing her unskilled movements, but she lost two games and got bored, just wanted to be in Josh’s arms, so she turned away from the game and wrapped her arms around his waist with a deep sigh. He hugged her back so tight, reluctant to let go, and he picked up on her body language begging him to take her home, so he grabbed their bags and walked her out the front door.

“That was fun”, she said with a smile, his arm around her waist and her hand on her back. “You wanna go home or come back to my place?”, Josh asked. “Hmmm, your place sounds good.”, she said, a look into his face telling her that he was stoked about her answer, and they decided to walk, even though it took them forty minutes and it was cold, but walking close together and being wrapped in their coats made it a breeze, and the fresh air breathed some life into their tired student bones.

The apartment was warm, perfectly heated, and Emily slipped out of her boots and coat with delight when Josh offered to make some hot chocolate. She sat on a chair in the kitchen and watched him pour some milk into a pot and whisk the cocoa powder in like a real chef as it heated up on the stove. Then he poured the sweet, steaming liquid into two mugs, fetched a can of whipped cream from the fridge to top the drinks off with, as a final touch sprinkling some cocoa powder on top of the cream. He handed Emily’s mug to her and she waited until he’d set his own down on the table before she pulled him down by his collar for a searing kiss. He moaned into her mouth, chuckled as he kissed her back, then pulled back and sat down beside her.

“This is so good, thank you”, Emily said, once again digging a spoon into a heap of cream. “You’re very welcome”, Josh said with a warm smile. They let the sweet hot drinks warm them from the inside, making the most of the autumn in that moment. Emily finished hers after Josh, leaned back in her chair and felt her entire body pleasantly warm up. “You want some more sugar?”, Josh asked then, turning to her and leaning forward, placing his hands on her thigh and a kiss to the corner of her mouth before reaching up to pull her closer, prompting her to move into his lap, and his hands wandered to her ass, squeezing her as she kissed him with a soft moan.

Her sweet noises fueled him, made him jerk his hips up against hers, grinding up against her through the fabric of their pants, and he slowly stood up as he held her up by her ass; she wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself. He stumbled down the hallway to his room and lowered her on the bed, turning around to close the door, just in case Jake had decided to return early. When he turned back around, she’d already taken off her shirt and opened her jeans, and he hurried to keep up with her, both naked within a minute.

Josh crawled over her, backed her up until her head hit his pillow as he captured her lips in a feverish kiss, and they moaned into each other’s mouths. He pushed his knee up against her naked heat and she grinded down on his thigh, purposely spreading her wetness on his skin, making him gasp as he felt how wet she already was. He lowered his hand, pressed his fingertips against her clit, rubbed it in circular motions as he kept kissing her, never getting enough of her plush lips against his own, their warm tongues dancing together.

She whined, desperate for him to give her more, and he obliged by pushing two fingers up into her, twisting them, stretching her a bit and curling them up against the spot that made her cry out for him. The knuckle of his thumb brushed against her clit as he fucked her with his fingers, steadily pumping them in and out, coaxing her further and further into her orgasm. She didn’t need much more to come undone, the scent of him, the feeling of his mouth on hers, his skilled fingers massaging the perfect spots, and the writhed and shuddered underneath him, whined loudly, rolled her head to the side and squeezed her eyes shut as she let the waves of pleasure ripple through her.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so hot”, Josh said, started kissing her neck, biting at her skin and gliding his tongue against the sweet spot just below her ear. He pulled his hand from her center and pushed her leg up, positioning himself between her thighs, then lining his hard cock up with her soaking wet center, and she let out a surprised yelp when he shifted his hips and sank into her, inch by inch filling her up and making her dig her fingers into his back with a long, obscene moan that made him sink his teeth into her shoulder with a low grunt.

Emily met Josh’s slow thrusts by circling her hips and grinding down against him, letting him hit her deep and the spark of her next high was ignited in the form of a dull ache building in her groin, being increased by every intense snap of his hips against her own. She felt him stretch her, the delicious burn making her eyes glaze over with lust as she whined and cried out for him, letting her hands smooth down his back and come to a halt on her favorite, perfectly curved part of him, squeezing the firm flesh and feeling his muscles move as he fucked her faster.

His grunts and groans were like music to her ears, fueled her own breathy moans and desperate sobs, and she let him take her harder and faster, increasing his pace bit by bit, needy and hungry for her. He couldn’t stop kissing her neck, was thoroughly enjoying how it made her cry louder, her soft skin the perfect residence for his swollen, hungry lips, teeth and tongue, and his hot breath and low moans against her neck made her eyes well up with tears.

Another minute in, Josh was full-on pounding Emily into the mattress, the bed was quietly creaking under his heavy thrusts and her moans were erratic and choked up, his own groans deep and low, almost hoarse. His hands closed around her back, holding her by her shoulder blades, and her legs around his hips shuddered as she drifted dangerously close to her high again. “Oh my god, Josh, don’t stop, I’m about to cum”, Emily whined, Josh replied with a guttural groan, trying to increase the harshness of his thrusts, fucking her as deep as he could, and then she fell over the edge.

“Ohhhhh, fuck, mmmmnnn, Ohh, Josh”, she sobbed, her angelic voice in his ears making him bite his bottom lip with a groan, and her moaning his name was about the hottest thing he’d ever heard in his life. He felt her contracting around his cock as he relentlessly drove himself into her heat, holding her tight, and the shuddering of her hips, the squeeze of her legs around him pulled him into his own orgasm. His low voice trailed off into a long, dwindling moan as he slowed his hips, and she felt his release coat her walls with a handful of last, slow movements inside her.

She was still whining along with the aftershocks of her orgasm as he collapsed on top of her, his face planted against her neck still. Her hands wandered up from his ass to his shoulders, stroking his skin gently, lovingly, and she turned her face to capture him in a deep, passionate kiss. They were both sweaty and out of breath, trying to calm down from the elation, but it took them a handful of minutes wrapped in each other’s arms with Josh’s weight on top of Emily’s exhausted body until he could finally move off her, slipping out of her and leaving her dripping onto the sheets.

Emily turned onto her side, facing Josh, dragging her fingertips up and down his front, over his chest and into the hair below his belly button. “Josh?”, she said quietly, not sure if what had just happened was real or a dream. “Yes, Emily?”, he said, eyes closed and snaking his arm around her to pull her flush against him. “Do you wanna… I mean, am I like, your girlfriend now?”, Emily asked, her fingers digging through his pubic hair and resting there, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. Josh lifted his head to look at her, studied her expression closely, then smirked and shook his head in disbelief.

“Of course you are my girlfriend. If you wanna be my girlfriend, you’re my girlfriend. Isn’t it pretty obvious that I like you?” “I don’t know. Yes?” “Yes. Am I your boyfriend then?” “Please, Josh. I’d love nothing more than for you to be my boyfriend.” “Then I am, Sweetheart.”


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily hears Josh sing for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetkiszkadreams.tumblr.com

Waking up next to Josh for the second time felt even better than the first, because Emily didn’t have to be anywhere soon. She woke up to the harsh wind whipping around the house, still tightly curled against Josh, who was breathing evenly, still in a deep slumber. She rolled over to grab her phone from the bedside table to check her student e-mails; all classes had been cancelled for the day, for everybody, because of the storm that had violently brewed overnight.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, Emily switched on her phone’s do not disturb function and rolled back against Josh, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes for another few hours of sleep. The toasty warmth under the covers made her hum in satisfaction, and Josh’s skin was soft under her cheek and her hand on his abdomen. _I can definitely get used to this_, she thought, then drifted off to sleep again.

The next time she woke up, she felt a shuffle to her side, felt Josh turn to face her, and then his soft lips on her forehead, pressing little kisses to her skin and resting there, snaking his arms around her shoulders and pulling her closer. His hands in her hair and her bare chest pressed to his, he hummed quietly, taking in Emily’s sweet scent and basking in the reality of what they’d decided together the night before.

Emily took in a deep breath and blinked her eyes open, the storm still heavy outside, but Josh’s arms were safe and warm, and she hummed too, a sweet sound that made him smile against her forehead before he leaned down to kiss her lips. His arms around her waist pulled her over and he rolled onto his back with Emily on top of him. She looked down into his eyes and pressed the tip of her nose against his with a smile.

Josh’s hand buried in her hair at the back of her head, he pulled her down into another kiss, deep and needy. Emily pulled back first, grabbed her phone and pulled up her e-mails as Josh watched her from below, brows raised. She showed him the cancellation of all classes and he grinned as she giggled, making him chuckle and lower his hands to her hips, suddenly very aware of her position on him, both completely naked.

But before he could make a move, Emily rolled off him and walked to the bathroom; he watched her, cursed under his breath at the sight of her. He raised his brows in surprise when he heard her turn on the shower, slowly shifting out of bed and stretching his limbs with a groan. “Are you coming?”, Emily called from the bathroom, and suddenly he was very awake.

She’d left the door open and was already standing under the stream of warm water, her back turned to him when he joined her. Josh shut the door and locked it, just in case, and snaked his arms around Emily from behind, feeling the water rain down on them as he pressed kisses along the side of her neck, making her tilt her head for better access with a soft sound falling from her lips that made the adrenaline in his veins surge for a second.

She felt him hard against her ass, his hands came up to her breasts and he softly kneaded them, thumbed her nipples, made her whine and turn around in his arms to kiss him feverishly. “I’ve never had sex in a shower”, she said in between pecks, and he groaned, a low chuckle followed, and he pinned her back against the tiles. “We can change that”, he said, running his hand down her side with a deep look into her eyes, finally dragging a finger through her folds, and she gasped.

“You’re so pretty”, Emily said, pulling him in for another deep kiss, her arms around his neck, and he began to circle her clit with his fingertips as he kissed her back eagerly. “You’re way prettier”, he said, pressing his forehead against hers as she whined, the lust in her expression fueling him, and he pushed a finger up inside her and curled it, pumped it in and out, then added another, Emily’s soft cries making him throb between his thighs and rut his pelvis against her thigh.

Emily raked her fingers through his wet hair when he sank to his knees in front of her, pushing her legs apart with his hands, then placing an open-mouthed, suckling kiss to her clit, and she whimpered. He flattened his tongue and dragged it through her folds, tasting her with a groan, picking up a relentless pace as he sucked, licked and kissed her flesh, circled her clit, nudged it with the tip of his tongue, then digging deeper again, gathering all of her juices and drinking her down.

Her moans got louder with every movement of his tongue on her, and she closed her eyes and dropped her head back against the wall, and soon her thighs were shuddering and twitching with her orgasm ripping through her. Her long and obscene moan caused Josh to groan against her, and he let her ride out her high on his tongue, let her press his face against her heat and jerk her hips to grind against his hungry tongue.

Josh pulled back and stood up when she’d just come down, immediately grabbing her hip and turning her around, and her hands splayed on the tiles as he held her hips against his and lined his pulsing cock up with her heat, dragging the swollen head through her overstimulated folds before pushing forward, filling her with ease, feeling her squeeze him and she moaned desperately, sobbed and swallowed a cry. He leaned forward, rested his chin on Emily’s shoulder, pressing kisses to her cheek as he bottomed out, then pushed inside again, slowly and carefully.

He hit her deep, but kept the slow pace, making her feel every inch move inside her, and she moaned in bliss, smiled at the waves of pleasure he sent through her, at the firmness of his cock and the snug fit of him. He groaned against her ear, kept a firm grip on her hips and pulled her back against his thrusts, latched onto the side of her neck with a bite and a kiss, kept pressing wet pecks to her skin where he could reach as he slowly fucked her against the tiles.

The elated cries and moans falling from her lips finally made him drive himself into her faster, and he snaked his hand around her to press his fingers to her clit again, needed her to cum with him, needed to feel her clench and contract around his cock. “Fuck, Emily, I’m so close… you feel so good”, he groaned, and she whined beautifully, dropping her head forward and pressing her cheek against the cold tiles, glancing back at him, tears of pleasure stinging in her eyes. “Me too, ohh, fuck, Josh, don’t stop”, she cried, and with a few more sharp snaps of his hips, they came together.

He kept thrusting into her heat to give her more friction, guiding her through her high as his release filled her, then buried himself deep and his hips shuddered. Emily’s moans were loud, breathy and high-pitched, and she cursed and said his name in between them; Josh let go of her hips and placed his hand on hers on the wall as the other one kept rubbing her clit through her orgasm.

His low groan in her ear made her smile again, she thoroughly enjoyed making him feel good, and she felt kind of flattered when he expressed his pleasure loudly like that. He wrapped his arms around her waist when they were both coming down, trying to catch their breaths, and he slipped out of her, making his release dribble down the inside of her thigh just to be washed away in the water.

After a minute or two, Josh pressed a kiss to Emily’s shoulder and reached for the shampoo, squirting some in his hand and massaging it into her hair. She dropped her head back and hummed at the feeling of his fingertips, his gentle touches soothing her. When he was done, she turned around to do the same for him, and he slumped his shoulders with a groan, prompting her to dig the pads of her thumbs into his back, massaging his muscles, working her way up to his shoulders to loosen more tension left behind even after his orgasm.

Josh returned the favor instantly, his warm, firm movements on her skin relaxing her quickly, and she sighed deeply when he got up to her shoulders and dug his thumbs into her muscles, smoothing them along her flesh. He finished with a soft kiss to the back of her neck, then he grabbed the soap and washed himself as she rinsed out the shampoo. They switched, he watched her wash herself with a concentrated look on her face, and soon they were both squeaky clean and stepping out of the shower. Josh wrapped Emily in a big towel before getting one for himself, and he gave her a shirt and one of his boxer briefs to replace her panties after they’d spread rich moisturizer on each other’s skin.

“That was by far the best shower I’ve ever taken”, Emily chuckled as she put on Josh’s Led Zeppelin shirt – it was too big on her, but Josh adored how she looked in it and couldn’t help but kiss her, smoothing the fabric down her back. His underwear was too big for her as well, but she was comfortable and warm nonetheless. Josh brewed some coffee and they ate half of a box of Jake’s cereal, but Emily didn’t need to know who it belonged to.

“Do you need to go to take your pill?”, Josh asked, expecting to be bummed out, but she shook her head. “I got it in my backpack.”, she said, and he smiled. “So you’ll stay?” “I can stay until tomorrow, if you want.” “I’d like that. You play guitar, right?”, he asked, and she nodded again, shoveling some more cereal into her mouth. “Well, Jake has one. And I need to sing a little bit, I’ve got something coming up for class. I’m just wondering if you’d maybe wanna play along for me? Jake usually does it, but he’ll be gone for a few more days.”, he said, and Emily’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, Josh, I can’t believe I’ve never heard you sing before! Of course I wanna play guitar for you. Let’s do it”, she said, finishing her coffee too soon, burning her tongue a little bit.

-

“I texted Jake and he says it’s okay”, Josh said, and Emily took the expensive looking acoustic guitar out of its case in Jake’s room, taking it over into the tiny living room, sitting down on the couch and checking if it was tuned. Josh got a gigantic binder out of his backpack, and Emily asked herself how it could even fit in there. He flipped through it for a while, and Emily messed around with the guitar, instantly falling in love with it. It sounded amazing, the strings were still shiny and obviously brand new, and Jake seemed to take good care of the instrument. The polished, dark wooden curves were a perfect fit for her slight stature and it was a breeze gripping the chords on the fret board.

“Okay, here it is”, Josh said, finally putting the binder down and taking out a laminated page, putting it on his music stand, then handing Emily one of the same piece of music, clearing his throat “but I need to warm up first.” “Go ahead”, Emily said, and Josh started to just sing some notes, climbing up and down his vocal range, occasionally clearing his throat, and even the little warm-up had her in awe. His voice was so rich and smooth, and she didn’t even possess the vocabulary to express how much she wanted to hear it forever.

After a few minutes, he nodded to himself, and Emily applauded, clapping her hands and whistling at him, and he blushed and smiled at her. “I haven’t even started yet”, he said, and she laughed. “Doesn’t matter, I love it already”, she countered, then took a first look at the sheet of music on the table in front of her. “Ohh, I know this one. Yep. Sarah keeps playing that.” “Yeah, shit, you’re right! She’s in the same class”, he said. Josh took a swig out of his water bottle and watched Emily familiarize herself with the chords while humming the melody to himself.

-

By the end of their practice session, Emily had the tune down and thought they’d sounded amazing together, but Josh was still not satisfied with his own performance, though he agreed that he needed to take a break nonetheless. Emily took the guitar back to Jake’s room, carefully closing the case, then getting back to the living room where Josh had put on a movie before he’d started making popcorn in the kitchen. Emily pulled the thin blanket over her legs and watched the old film absentmindedly, and Josh soon joined her with a big bowl of sweet and salty popcorn, leaning against her side with his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“You know, I really like you, Ems.”, he said quietly, and she turned her cheek to kiss him softly. “I really like you too, Joshua.” “Oh, we’re back to full names now? Okay, mama”, he joked, and Emily laughed. “Mama?” “Yes, mama.”


End file.
